Oh, the Holidays!

Last night I was reminded why I never want to be out in the stores this close to Christmas. Everyone is bloody M-A-D! My cousin and I went to the mall to return a few items and to say hello to a friend. Worst mistake ever! I can not believe the jack asses who will cut people off, or tailgate, or honk or flip others off. It’s amazing. I even saw one person last weekend get out of their car and yell to the person in front of them while at a stop light. Come on people! Tis the season! Is it the pressure or something? People freak out because they have to be here and there…I thought that was all part of the Christmas times. Take a Prozac or something!

I never thought I would say this, but after last night I wish the Utah drivers would start driving the way they always do.

Motivation or Lack There Of

The motivation to come and do nothing at work is becoming harder and harder. I have to wonder why I come in some days. I come to work and look at the Internet all day long. I am to the point now where there is nothing to look at on the Internet anymore. I am SO BORED! I usually read, but lately I have not found a new book of interest.

I have no idea how my co-workers do it. I get to the point of wanting to slam my head against the desk. Shouldn’t I be doing something of importance?

Matters of the Heart

You! You know who you are. Don’t try and run, because you are never going to hide from me. You disgust me. Does he know? I bet deep down inside he knows, but he fakes it, because you swear up and down he is the one. Is he the one? Like you would know, you are too busy in your own fucking world! Why do you do it? That other guy is so beyond you. When he walks by, he never takes a second glance at you. And here you are dreaming about him tonight. Pitiful. You know he probably has a real life, and never thinks about you, ever. Liar! You lie to me and yourself so much you are starting to believe your own lies!

What is wrong with him? What did he ever do to you? You lead him on. You are afraid of being alone, one of us has to own up to it. I hope you burn in hell. You deserve to be alone. He deserves to be with someone else who will actually love him back. But no, you sit with him, and think of another. You know the other only sees you because he has to. No choice. If you’re so brave why don’t you confess your concrete love for him? Yeah I did not think so. All those books you read are that, only books. No man will ever sweep you off your feet, not this guy, not the other. You are just plain ugly to love. He can’t love someone like you.

Your tearing us up inside. One day you are going to blow. Volcano. You will be alone. I will be your only companion. Alone!

Wish you were dead yet? Yeah, me too.