Lessons Learned in 2009

Even if you are scared to death, give relationships a chance to grow. Pedicures make the heart smile. Accept that good things happen to you. (every once in a while at least) Some people are not good people, and no matter what you do you can't change that. A girl has got to listen to some heavy metal every once in a while. Ex's will always be Ex's. Don't talk yourself into anything, especially men. Take an adventure by yourself now and again. Baking cakes with your mother is one of the best things on this planet. Never ever take for granted your health. When times get hard, don't hold back the tears. Little sisters make life better. Everyone deserves a clean plate. Stay positive things will work out like they should. Take pictures of everything. Love comes, and there is nothing you can do but accept and grow from it. Death comes, and there is nothing you can do but accept and grow from it. Brandon's hugs are the best. There is always time to celebrate the good things in your life. Dream really big! A simple greeting card will do just fine. Most of the time it's worth waiting for.

Christmas Recap of '09

This year I've been dreading Christmas, for the obvious reasons. I was able to keep myself mostly busy with Christmas projects and school. Once those were gone, I was faced with the fact that Christmas was coming even if I didn't like the idea.

Christmas Eve Brandon got a taste of our traditions. Every year my mom makes a dinner feast filled with appetizers of all kind.


After we recap Christs life, and talk about the previous year we had and what family means to us. That part was the hardest for me. However, for the first time in a long time I didn't feel like a giant hole was missing in my life. Once we got that out of the way the rest of the night was filled with games, movies, and fun. I finally got to bed around midnight, only to be awaken at four to my youngest brother. Even though he is twelve he can't ever contain his excitement for Christmas. I tried to go back to sleep but failed, and after two hours of pestering from Matthew, I woke everyone up to open gifts. As you can see below, we all are half awake while opening gifts (except for Matthew of course).









After that madness we headed over to Brandon's parents to have breakfast with his family. Then after drove to my house to open gifts with my dad. After a little down time we went back over to his parents house for dinner, then watched Nine with Amelia and Trent. A busy day to say the least, I was grateful for some shut eye at the end of the night, but over all had a great Christmas. I owe my family, friends, and especially Brandon for making it a wonderful memory.

Now to the fun part... gifts!

I couldn't believe how spoiled I was this year.


Ron gave me a few things, one of them being a board game. Brandon's parents got me a Jane Austin book, and Trent gave me the second season of pushing daisies along with the first book of Dexter.

My dad gave me dishes and silverware for the "new year". Hmm, I wonder what that is supposed to mean?


My dad Ron also gave me this pretty baby...


I've been wanting a video camera for a while, no one seems to have random video coverage these days. I intend to change that.

Brandon gave me many things that I didn't deserve. Some play-doh, coloring books, Earth DVD, jewelry, and a record player!


I about died when I saw it, and passed out with joy. He also started off my vinyl collection with Jack Johnson, Lady GaGa, and Jason Mraz. Today, I went out and bought some more to add. I'm so in love.


Of course Mom was not forgotten. I left a Christmas tree on her grave.


Both of my dads gave me something to remember her by. Her scriptures, and a shadow box that I can keep things in of her.


Happy Holidays to you and yours, I hope everyone made some great memories.

On the 12th day of Christmas...

KaraLee gave to me - a picture of Christ

She was so amazing throughout this entire thing, and I am so lucky to have her as my best friend. Because of her, my Christmas was that much better!

More Christmas details to come...

On the 11th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - a Gingerbread House kit

On the 10th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - a coloring book and crayons.

Y'all ready for Christmas yet?

On the 9th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - Some fuzzy socks and a hula hoop.

Apparently the secret to dancing is by wearing red fuzzy socks and then hula hooping. Yeah, you wouldn't understand...

On the 8th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - chocolate milk and cookies!

On the 6th and 7th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - The original Mother Goose series

And a glass Swan

Precious! I'm a lucky gal.

On the 5th day of Christmas...

(Is it really day five already?)

My mystery friend gave to me - hot chocolate and Krispy Kreme donuts.

Yum!

On the 4th day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - A Christmas bell/Rudolph the Red Noised Reindeer

Guess what I'm watching this weekend? Love it!

This Morning

Reggie did not want to wake up.

On the 3rd day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - a dancing chicken.

A Christmas dancing chicken mind you.

On the 2nd day of Christmas...

My mystery friend gave to me - Turtle & Dove Chocolate.

Which by the way, I found sitting on my car while walking out from work. This person is tricky.

On the 1st day of Christmas...

When I lived with my mom every year her and I would do the 12 days of Christmas to someone we knew was in need. Starting on the 13th of December we would anonymously create gifts and drop them off at the door step until Christmas Eve. There were several close calls where I was almost caught running for my life to the car parked on the other street, but knowing I was doing something for someone was worth everything.

I remember also receiving the 12 days of Christmas for my family. Some nights my mom and I would try to stay up to catch them, which never happened, we still had fun laughing and joking about it. One year the very last gift we received on Christmas Eve was five hundred dollars. I remember opening the envelope with my mom and crying. I can't imagine separating with that much money. My family was hurting really bad, and it was obviously a gift from God. After I moved out I didn't really keep up with it. I also haven't thought much of it either until last night.

I received a text message from a random number telling me to check my front porch before I went to bed. What was found was this,


Some pear cider and pear chips with a note letting me know I was picked for the 12 days of Christmas. I texted back asking who it was and thanked them, but received no response. At first I wanted to figure out who it was, but now I've decided that isn't what this is about. It is about giving and being able to receive at the same time. I have this guilt complex over taking something like this without being able to reciprocate the gesture.

I thought it was clever with the Pear stuff. Especially since the first day of Christmas the gift was a partridge in a pear tree. I'm excited to see what is happening next!

Thanks mystery person - this means more to me then you may know.

P.S. look forward each day with an update of what I received the night before.

Music to My Bleeding Ears

I feel the need to blog about something, although I'm not sure what.

Lately I've been feeling very blah. My brain feels like it is on auto pilot and the Rachel I'm used to having around is on vacation. I've been keeping my distance from most people, more so then usual. I have this need to protect myself from heartbreak and my first instinct is to push away. Some days I have this little spark that shows my old self, but that is very far a few in between.

Today at work I did my usual training where I stand in front of new customer service agents for my work and teach them about refunding people properly. During that training I felt my old self come back. And I mean my olllllllld self. The one before ExA1, before moving to Salt Lake, before Mom passed. The one that stands in front of a crowd and has a good time entertaining people. I had most of the new agents laughing and having a good time learning about something! It brought a smile to myself to know I still had it in me. That I was interesting, made people feel good, but more importantly made them laugh.

If you met my 2005 classmates they would tell you I was full of life, loved by most, and always doing something shocking.I was always the girl dancing on tables or standing on chairs giving my new stand up comedy routine. Where has that person gone? I liked her.

I wonder if that will ever come back or if it was just something I was in my past. Now I'm adult and worry about stupid shit.

Work, bills, family ties, school, homework, finals, car problems. Everything problems.

Remember the times when you would go and "hang out" with some of your friends? You never had anything planned. You just went to someones house lounging around while listening to whatever music was good then. You closed your eyes and let the music soak into you. Sitting there for hours without a need to come up with some type of small talk. More then half of my teenage years were spent doing just that. Soaking in the music with friends.

So the last few weeks I've been blaring my mind with music. All the thoughts I've been having lately don't really make sense. So I drown them out with Lady GaGa. Thank God for her Fame Monster album. I'd not like to know what I'd be without it right now. I am singing at work(the boys love this), pounding on the steering wheel in the car, humming to myself at school, and dancing my heart out at night.

This is all for now.

Tell me something that'll save me

I need a man who makes me alright

Tell me something that'll change me

Don't Stop Believe'n

I'm trying to keep myself awake for the last stretch of work, so I thought I'd post some random things I believe that most people disagree with me on. Different opinions is what makes the world go round, right?

1 - I believe everyone should have the right to marry who they want. Honestly, I don't care who you marry as long as you are happy... and it isn't one of my many future ex husbands.

2 - I believe that if you are failing at something, it is your own fault. Not anyone else's. I get tired of hearing people get upset over something they had/have control over, and make excuses. I normally will not have sympathy for situations like that. You made you bed, deal with it.

3 - I believe that "white lies" are necessary in the world we are living in.

4 - I believe that public schools should teach sex education. So many parents argue that they should be the ones to teach their children about sex. But lets face the facts here, most people (especially in Utah) will not teach their kids what they need to know about it. Not even the consequences or facts of it all. I can't tell you how many people I know that are either clueless to sex, or only know what TV/kids at school say. For those kids who get jipped in the birds and bees talk, they are going to need a class that doesnt hold back, and says all of the facts. Sorry people, we are not living in the 19th century anymore.

5 - I believe everyone at some point in their lives thinks about cheating on the person they are with.

6 - I believe drinking coffee is not a sin.

7 - I believe that it is a mistake to marry someone without knowing them for at least a year.

8 - I believe there is no such thing as a true "bi-sexual" or "love at first sight". I also believe that if someone else thinks these things are true, they are in some serious self denial.

9 - I believe age does not matter when it comes to knowledge, but having more experiences does.

10 - I believe that every single little thing happens for a reason. We may not understand it when it happens to us, and may never understand it until after we die. But there is always a reason.

Happy Thursday!