Dear Mom,

Last week was painfully hard without you. I thought it wouldn't be so bad, but really I had no idea what I was getting into. Don't get me wrong, there were good moments. Always bitter sweet without you though. For Thanksgiving Brandon and I had dinner over at Angel's house with my dad. The food was good, and I had a good time relaxing. Later that night we went to your house to see the rest of the family. It didn't take me long to burst into tears after seeing your Christmas tree up. Uncle Rich and Aunt Randie were there (and no we didn't fight at all - you would have been so proud). With them around it made Thanksgiving seem a little more normal.

This years Black Friday was a big joke. We woke up late Friday morning (4:40am) only to get to Walmart to discover that at midnight they let everyone take what they wanted and hold onto it. We all quickly realized it wouldn't have mattered if we were awake on time or not, everything would have been taken anyway. So I was mostly a grump that day. Poor Brandon, Brittni, and Trent got to deal with me. We did go see Mr. Fantastic Fox and had some good dinner at Crab Shack, so I really shouldn't complain.

Saturday was by far my favorite day over last week. Rich and Randies family got our family tickets to Savior of the World with them. We all met up downtown Salt Lake and watched this really beautiful play. After I convinced everyone to go to The Gardens to eat, and try a fried pickle. I think Sarah was the only one who didn't like them. And of course you can't leave Temple Square without seeing the lights. Brittni and Trent came as well to check it out.







Dad of course had the hardest time. It reminded me how last year I got a surprise visit from all of you after you went to see the lights at temple square. It was a rare and excellent surprise that I don't want to forget. I think over all though everyone had a good time that day.

Yesterday was apparently Christmas Tree day. Brandon and I helped Dad put up his big tree this year.


I also took some time out to set up a small tree downstairs for you. I hate white lights on Christmas Trees, but I know how much you love it. So this time I wanted something personal to represent you and your Christmas spirit.



It wasn't easy to think about the next month and what it will be like without you for the first time in my life. But I am still determined to make it a good one. I'll be coming to visit you soon, I have a gift for you :).

I love and miss you terribly, visit me soon.

-Rachel

I'm Thankful

For all of you who don't already know Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday. Sometimes it reminds me how dysfunctional my family can get (ok, really that's all it reminds me of every year). I normally try to avoid it at all costs. I don't like to eat turkey, pie, or yams, so when I am around for Thanksgiving I'm the one with only mash potatoes and stuffing on my plate sitting at the little kids table.

Awesome right?

I think one of my favorite Thanksgivings was when I was in Las Vegas eating at a seafood buffet. No awkward family situations, no having to explain what I've been up to for the last year, or what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. Nope. Just me, and Larry the Lobster staring up at me.

Last year I was ditched by my entire family. No lie. My dad and his boyfriend went up to some cabin (even after some shameless begging on my end), and my mom and family went to Colorado for their Thanksgiving. It was sort of this weird tradition with my mom, I just couldn't swallow my pride enough to go there again (stupid me). My mom did call me. She always called me on Thanksgiving, no matter how far away she was. I did have a good time with Trent's family who were kind enough to invite me. And although I didn't escape the awkward family questions, I did have a good time.

Well, this year I'm going to have to suck it up with my bah-humbug Thanksgiving ways. My Aunt, Uncle, and cousins from Colorado are coming this year to see us and my dad will be in town this year as well. I will be juggling two Thanksgivings and that isn't even including Brandon's family.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude about all of this. What better way to start then listing off things I am thankful for?

• First off I am thankful for my mother who raised me to be a good person. To treat people with kindness (although I fail at this sometimes), forgive those who are unkind, and to look at life eye to eye and believe that in the end everything works out.
• I'm thankful that I have a house to live in, a car that works, a job that pays me, and the education I am getting at my school
• I'm thankful for my other two parents. Dad #1 and Dad #2. They both love me more then I deserve, and at the end of the day are there for me when I need them.
• I'm thankful for my siblings who cry, laugh, yell, and dream with me. I know when I'm around them I am not alone.
• I'm thankful for Trent who has become whole heartily one of the best friends I've ever had. He listens to my problems and is always there when I need someone to lean on.
• I'm thankful for midol, especially on days like today.
• I'm thankful for a country that fights for my rights.
• I'm thankful for Brittni and her big heart.
• I'm thankful for Reggie who is always waiting for me when I come home. He is always ready to lick my face off and jump on me. I'd be lost without him.
• I'm thankful for books that let me escape for a few hours.
• I'm thankful for KaraLee who shows me how to be a better person, and loves me for who I am.
• I'm thankful for Brandon who would drop everything to be there for me, and reminds me life is worth living.
• I'm thankful for my ipod that keeps my ears occupied 24/7
• I'm thankful for opportunities to help others.
• I'm thankful for my health.
• I'm thankful for anyone or anything that has made me laugh.
• I'm thankful for holidays where I can relax and remember what is more important in life.

Ok, I could really go one forever, but I won't ramble on any longer.

I'm curious. What are you thankful for?

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

I've watched New Moon twice in less then 12 hours this weekend. I've also ditched some class and plan on ditching another class before the holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Current Obsessions

Currently I am obsessed with the following -

Lady Gaga

I can't seem to go more then five minutes without humming/singing one of her songs. Especially her latest single Bad Romance. I love her fashion and taste in almost everything. I'm so obsessed that over a week ago I bought her super deluxe fame monster which contains the following

• The Fame Monster album including 8 new studio recordings
• Collectible puzzle
• Pictorials
• Pull out posters
• Themed fanzines
• A paper doll collection
• 3D glasses
• Personal notes from the artist
• The "Book of Gaga" art table book
• Bad Romance T shirt
• A lock of Lady Gaga's hair

Yeah, you read that right a lock of her hair. What I will do with that... I'm not sure but I'm hella excited about it!

New Moon

I told myself almost a year ago today that I would never stand in line for another Twilight thing again. I even complained and whined and tried to get my PIC to go to the show at a reasonable hour instead of at midnight this Thursday. She refused and bought us tickets behind my back (sneaky one she is). At first I was all against this, but with all the media and hype I'm finding myself getting more and more excited. And what do you know? Looks like tomorrow night I'll be in another line to see the show. Let's just hope for my sanity's sake I won't laugh through the entire thing, or deal with too many crazed pre-teen girls. (Yeah I know... in my dreams will that happen)

Glee

I'm just a wee bit bitter that I am in class when the rest of the world gets to watch Glee every Wednesday night. It's the first thing I do on Thursday mornings - watch Glee. I'm also in love with Puck. The show takes me back to my own high school drama days. I loved to sing, dance, and act. The bond between drama members is always very dramatic but most importantly very tight knit. Ah, those were the days.

My new My Touch phone

I picked up this bad boy last weekend and I am in love love love love! The phone is always in my hand these days. It can do things I've never even thought of. I'm still getting use to it, but I'm now a changed women. I'm never going back.

mylifeisaverage.com

If I have time to spare I'm reading posts on this website. People every day come to this website to post about their average lives. It gives me hope for a better world. Here are some little gems for you...

Today, I was walking with my little brother down the street and we saw an open manhole cover. Being a huge fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he leaned over and yelled, "TURTLE POWER!". I was worried that he would be crushed when nothing happened, but then I heard, "COWABUNGA DUDE!". He got so excited, he peed his pants. Thank you, mystery manhole guy, you made my day.

Today, I was signing with my deaf friend. I asked him if he had ever expierenced an awkward silence. He immediatly stopped signing and just looked at me. This was, in fact, an awkward silence. MLIA.

Today, I was stuck in traffic so I decided to wave randomly at the people in other cars to see if they would freak out. Just as I was about to start, a girl in another car started waving at me. I instantly freaked out and ducked beneath the window. Well played, mystery girl. MLIA.

Today I was at an arcade with my friends. I got a small plastic dinosaur with my tickets. I came back to the prize counter with my friends. The guy working the counter casually slides me another dinosaur with a note attatched that read: So the other one isn't lonely. Easily made my week.

Today, I realized Lifesavers are called Lifesavers because if you choke on them, you can still breathe because of the hole. My life just got safer.

Today, I was about to take a bite out of my McDonald's double cheeseburger when I realized that I had forgotten to ask for no pickles. Annoyed, I went to remove the pickles only to find a happy face drawn with ketchup. Thank you kind DMcDonald's worker for making such an effort knowing that it would go unnoticed. I will always be tempted to look inside my burgers from now on. MLIA

Yesterday, I was reading MLIA from my iPod Touch. Me and my family got in our car and once we drove out of my wifi server's range, a box popped up as we went over a shady bridge. The box asked which server I wanted to join, and just as we went over that bridge, the server 'BATCAVE' came up. I'm on to you, Batman.

And really, that's all folks.

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

The Christmas lights are up at my house, I've also started listening to Christmas music. So sue me.

Stressin'

It is midterm week and my stress level looks a lot like this...


Sure, I could bore you with the same sad college story of taking one of the hardest classes I've ever taken, that I wake up in the middle night panicking over my pharmacology grade, or that my face looks like I just started puberty. But I refuse to bore you with that.

For shiz and giggles I'm going to let you guys know who I would like to punch in the face right now. Giving a good punch to the face will always make me feel a little less stressed. So here goes nothing.

Top four people who deserve a good beat down

Angelina Jolie

Am I the only one on this planet who sees through her bull crap? I don't understand why people support someone who is a home wrecker and has far too many kids from all over the world. Is she trying to create her own it's a small world after all? I'm not buying it. Really, she deserves a good beat down just for being in all of the Tomb Raider movies.

Miley Cyrus

Babies die, and my ears bleed when she sings. She also isn't the best role model out there, just google image search her and you will understand what I'm talking about. She needs to do us all a favor and leave the entertainment business for good.

Carrie Prejean

She goes around saying how she is a good Christian and loves God BUT she poses nude for pictures, judges people because they are gay, and has several sex tapes. Do I need to say anything else?

and last but not least...

My home wrecker of a co-worker

What I wouldn't give to seriously beat this girl up. Her actions and choices are so disgusting, and somehow I am lucky enough to have to watch this every day at the office. I can't believe she is an adult, but acts like the teenager slut.

Thats all I can really say about that.

I feel better already.

Wish me luck on my midterm tonight. I'll need it.

Oh Mom!

Sometimes I find little gems of my mom that reminds me of our silly relationship together. All of this is so important because it keeps her alive. I always want to keep her laughter and spirit with me. Always.

So I'm sure you could picture the massive grin on my face when I saw this comment my mom made on my blog a year ago today.


The post was about gay marriage. And although her and I had our differences on hot topics we always stayed best friends. If only I could go back in time a year ago and squeeze her with love!

Love you Mom!

Brownie Points

This post has been a year in the making, and I feel the need to take some time out to remember it.

On October 25th 2008 I was a nervous wreck. I woke up early, even though it was a Saturday. Running into the bathroom I checked my face out. Great, is that a pimple on my forehead? It doesn't matter now. Today is today, and there is no turning back.

To get my mind off things I spend my morning cleaning and helping my dad around the house. He often gives me a hard time about my anxiety. When we went to lunch he couldn't help but notice my lack of an appetite.

"Whats so stressful about this one?" He asks me.

"I don't know, it just feels different this time." I reply.

Before I knew it the time had come, he was here whether I liked it or not. The door bell rang, and I tried to block out the giggling and window peaking upstairs. When I opened the door the first thing I saw was bright blue eyes. I then noticed his clothes and immediately started looking at his eyes again (ha ha).

He opened my door - brownie points.

We went to the Utah Museum of Fine Arts for our first date.

He thought of something more original then dinner and a movie - brownie points.

We both seemed nervous, but once we got to looking around our conversation just started to flow. We laughed, commented, and admired all sorts of art there.

He didn't crowd me, or talk my ear off - brownie points.

After seeing all there was at the museum, we went to a near by training table for dinner. We both ordered and sat down.

He didn't argue with me on paying for the food - brownie points.

And although his eating habits were a little sloppy, I was intrigued by his life and stories that he told so well.

He had me laughing - brownie points.

I don't think I've had a better first date then that. How lucky am I that he kept me around for an entire year? Although I am opposed to doing "anniversary" things before you are married, Brandon insisted I let him take me out on a date. We went to color me mine where we painted each other mugs.

before after

It was fun to relax for a few hours and just paint. Apparently we have an art theme to uphold in future years.

On a more serious note Brandon is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. We have been through more then any young couple deserves to go through. Because of that we are stronger then I have ever seen for a young couple. This love is nothing like I thought it would be. We don't have dramatic fights. No need to confess our love for one another. Life seems a lot easier when he is around. I feel like I can do whatever I want and he wouldn't hold me back. There are no boundaries or limitations with us, only blue skies ahead. For the first time I know what love feels like. It isn't a lightening bolt of love. It is time and consistency that over a while grows like a callus on your heart. Once you notice the new addition to your heart, there is no removing it without being permanently scarred.

Just the other night while at school I passed a pharmacology math test I never thought I would be able to defeat. I burst with joy while running to my car then stopped suddenly when I remembered I couldn't call my mom to tell her the good news. I fell to my knees in a dark parking lot next to my car and sobbed. I wanted to call her worse then anything else on this earth. I wanted to hear her jump up and down and scream for joy over me accomplishing something we both worked so hard to achieve. As I got into my car I talked to her, and told her that I was doing it! I was living our dream, I was very much alive and had many things to be thankful for. For the first time out loud I told my mom Brandon meant everything to me. This was no longer puppy love, he was the one I wanted to spend my forever with. I put all my eggs in his basket, jumped in with both feet, and have no regrets. I told her I was sorry he took her spot in a weird way, but that she was always going to be my mother. No one could take her away from that. Once I whispered her those words I felt an urge to call Brandon and celebrate my math conquering! Brandon brings me hope, a desire to be more then what I am now. I owe him everything.

Here is to another gazillion years of us, if he will keep me around that long.

:)

Post Halloween '09

Reggie so was gracious to help me clean up after our Halloween party.

Halloween '09

This year I was suckered into hosting my first Halloween party. I get anxiety over doing parties because I'm always convinced not a lot of people will come and it will be boring. Luckily this year I pulled it off (with flying colors if I say so myself)! A lot of people came and had a great time from what I saw. Brandon and I spent the day decorating.




This really is just going to be a picture overload of some of the awesome costumes people came in. Thank in advance to Brandon for letting me take some of his pictures as well.

[Miss Piggy and Superman]

[Sexy teacher and a ninja turtle]

[The spirit]

[My favorite hippy]

[Ghost busters and their handmade costumes]

[The police officer and black mail]

[Helga and Miss Muffet]

[The sexy pregnant school girl, cool nerd, and ref]

[Sexy prego school girl and jail breaker]

[Fairy, hobo clown, and the mad scientist]

[The spirit and Miss Muffet]

[Jen, Ninja Turtle, Angel, and Miss Muffet]

[Everyone lounging around]

Reggie this year was a bumble bee.






He didn't have a problem wearing the costume, until he found out that wings were hanging off the side of him. Once he discovered that, the fun was over.




On actual Halloween night I kicked back with Brandon and Trent and made some caramel apples while watching Halloween movies.




Over all, I'd say it was an awesome Halloween this year. I'm grateful for everyone who came and made it awesome. I wonder how I'll top it for next year?

Larry

As usual my mom and I were running late to church on a chilly Sunday morning. My mom probably had a legitimate reason to be late. I on the other hand was purposely taking my time. In my high school days I never felt like waking up to leave for church.

"Rachel! Are you ready yet?"

"Almost mom! I just have to do my hair."

Looking myself in the mirror I start to curl my hair. After hearing my mom yell down the stairs to hurry up twice, I grabbed my shoes from my room. Hopping on one foot while trying to get your other high heel on is never as easy as it looks. Right in the middle of me grabbing my scriptures the door bell rings and I freeze.

What the?

"I got it mom!"

Running up the stairs I make it to the front door and peer through the peep hole to find nothing. Opening the door I step outside to see no one around. Who door bell ditches on a Sunday morning? I did however notice the big white paper bag sitting on the door step. Picking it up I was surprised with how heavy it was. I put the white bag on the kitchen counter top and stuck my hand into the bag.

Wait... that doesn't feel right...

Looking into the bag I immediately withdraw my hand and scream.

"MOOOOOOOOOM!"

Before I knew it she was running down the stairs at my screams.

"What is it?"

My mom looks into the bag and is shocked as well.

"Is that a lobster?!?" She screams.

"Sure looks like one to me!"

"Who would leave a lobster on the doorstep?" She asks.

As soon as the sentence leaves her mouth the white bag starts moving.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

Both of us squealing at the top of our lungs isn't helping the situation. So we decided to leave to church and deal with the lobster later.

"What do we do with the little bugger until then? We can't just leave him in the bag."

My mom is right. We couldn't just leave him sitting on the counter. So I came up with the brilliant idea to fill up the tub with water and put the lobster in it. While sitting next to the tub my mom reminds me that lobsters can't live in regular water, they live in salt water.

"I'll go get the salt." I say while leaving the water running. Rummaging through the spice cabinet I grabbed the salt and hesitantly picked up the white bag as well. My mom takes the salt and starts to pour it into the tub water. Both of us realized this was silly, but what other choice did we have? At this point we were over an hour late for church. Finally the water was finished and my mom and I just stared at each other in the bathroom.

"Ok, put Larry in the water" I say.

"You named him?"

"Yeah, Larry the Lobster of course."

"Well, I'm not touching him."

"Me either! Wait, I have an idea."

Getting the kitchen broom I tip the white bag into the water. And use the broom to scoop Larry into the water.

Splash! He is in the tub and the girlish screaming continues, along with some jumping up and down. We both finally leave to church and are dying to tell our family about the news. When we get home my mom makes a few calls and realizes that other family members have received little Larry's at their doorsteps as well. Obviously, it had to be our prankster uncle Rich.

"What do we do with him then?" I ask my mom.

"Well, looks like we'll be having lobster for Sunday dinner!"

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

I thought I was brave enough to watch a scary movie on Halloween night, but ended up being completely frightened. And when I say frightened I mean the kind that makes you vomit, toss and turn all night, and wish your mommy was there to comfort you.

Next year, there will be no scary movies.