Truth Be Told

Sitting alone in a house she lived in but could never call home, she tried to embrace the darkness. This wasn’t like her. She never had to try. She always was alone, she welcomed it. Silence was a comfort to her no on else could ever give. Tonight though was a different story. Little did he know, but she was thinking of him too.

For once in years she wanted to be held. She wanted to be protected and not fight this battle alone. She wanted to be called angel, she wanted someone to find the true value of herself. As a trader tear rolled down her cheek she was more grateful then ever she had all her thoughts to herself. It would be a shame if they all knew how she really felt.

She ran the tips of her fingers down her Great Danes back. He was her protector after all, and would love her better than any other male could. In appreciation the dog sighed and nuzzled his head in-between her arms. He knew her feelings, he heard her screaming heart. He would always keep her secrets.

***

Several miles away the young mans heart was breaking too. How could he live like this? He was controlled by his own inner demons, he couldn’t shake them. No matter how convincing his smile was the monster in the back of his head still whispered to him. Told him the truth. Reminded him that his betrothed would never be good enough.

The grandfather clock charmed one only reminded him how much time he had wasted on that couch. How much closer his spiritual death was coming. He knew what his obligation was, and he intended to finish what he started. But what if…?

Running his hands over his bald head he tried to shake the question. No ifs, no more. He had to figure out a way to end this torture. How? What was it going to take to silence all his fears, all his weaknesses, all of his heart? Deep down he knew the answer, now it was only a matter of how fast he could reach her.

***

She pours herself some grape juice in a wine glass. She was never able to acquire the taste for wine, but drinking from the glass always made her feel better. Lighting a candle her eyes adjusted to the new flicker of light in the room. She laid across her love seat. Glancing up at the clock she couldn’t believe it was past midnight already. All these sleepless nights were catching up with her quick. Love, she thought to herself that was the reason.

Staring up at the ceiling she pretends its all stars. She couldn’t stop the thought of knowing he had seen the exact stars she was dreaming of now. If she closed her eyes she could still smell him, taste him, hear him. Chuckling to herself she found it ironic that she remembered him so well. She had one of the worst memories known to man. Her thoughts drifted to the other girl. That other girl who would cling to her man whenever she was present. The other girl who did everything in her power to keep her best childhood friend away. The thought of dealing with the other girl, made her exhausted.

Before she knew it she was drifting off into sleep, until she swore she heard a knock at the door.

***

She had to be home. Who would leave a candle lit while gone? He knocked again wondering if this was a sign. Maybe this shouldn’t work out. Maybe he should swallow his pride and move on with his life as intended. What was he going to say anyway? He pulled the collar of his leather jacket closer to his face. Stepping off the porch he took a bigger look at the house. In her front room was the candle lit. Everything else was pitch black. This was like her. He knew tonight she was somber. If only he could reach her, tell her.

Baby answer me

***

She let her feet touch the cold hard wood floor. Goosebumps spreading all down her arms and legs. Her body was trying to tell her something that her mind could not understand. Listening to the silence she was trying to remember what she had dreamt about. What was she doing again? Oh yes, her ritual of self pity and grape juice. How pathetic. It only got like this when another one bit the dust.

Dating was the most childish game. It was never on her agenda until she received his wedding announcement. His fiancés doing she was sure. Another twist of the dagger in her back. She was tired of waiting around for him anyway. Dating seemed like the only other option to free herself from his bond.

Her canine’s whimpering snapped her back into reality. He was making circles around the front door. His normal sign of wanting to go outside. She wondered why he wanted to go outside now. Normally he was too far gone asleep. Getting up she walked towards the door hearing screeching tires outside. She knew her protector heard something outside and wanted to investigate.

Turning the lock she opened the door where the dog quickly ran out. There she stood frozen. Her lungs were filled with fresh scent of him. Her heart and lungs immediately collapsed knowing she was playing tricks on herself once again. Stepping out onto the porch she stepped onto unstable ground.

Picking up the leather jacket, she held it to her nose. Tears started to pour from her blood shot eyes. Shrugging on the jacket she went back inside. Her Dane immediately went to curl up in his bed. Blowing out the candle she lays across the couch. She wouldn’t even admit it to herself, but she slept better that night then she had in years.

Love, she thought to herself was the reason.

I'm Your Man

As soon as Derek saw the 37 Ford Sedan parked in front of Marie’s apartment building, he knew he had but only a few short moments.

Stepping out of the caddie, Derek flipped on his pin stripped top hat. Quickly paying the driver he crossed the street meeting the front doors to the apartment. The sent of Marie’s perfume still lingered in the lobby from the night before. Why did she always smell so damned good? No matter how crabby he felt her smell always melted his heart, and the next thing he knows he is at her beck and call.

No, not today. Today he is going to be strong. Today he had enough.

Derek casually smiled at Mrs. Pembroke while waiting for the lift to meet him at the first floor. Glancing at his wrist watch he saw it was a quarter past eight in the morning. Marie expected him sometime around eleven. He would have come then, if he knew she had no prior arrangements. Some days she was so predictable.

“I’m sorry Sr. but our lift I am afraid is broken, you will need to take the stairs.” Nodding to the lobbyist in appreciation, Derek darted for the stairs. The smooth marble on the railing cooled his hands and kept him at a steady pace while dodging the morning traffic up the stairs. Everyone was heading off to start their day no doubt.

Reaching the 5^th floor Derek stopped. Leaving Marie’s apartment room was Dean, just as he assumed. That bastard always had a liking towards her. He couldn’t believe she would do this to him when just the night before, he had proposed marriage to her. Technically she never committed with him, still he felt she owed him some loyalty. She was just coming around.

Giving him a goodbye kiss Marie wished him a good day. While tucking in his white collard shirt Dean headed for the stairs. Glancing up he gave Derek one of the most heart stabbing grins he has ever received. Then, at that very moment every gentlemen like thing his good mother taught him was out the window. Brushing shoulders with Dean, Derek made a bee-line to Marie’s door. Although he was really mad at Dean and his cockiness he knew where the real fight was. When she finally looked up she cold only stand in the door way paralyzed from the shock of Derek’s face. Had she lost track of time? Surely it couldn’t be eleven yet.

“Derek, I…I…”

Derek shoved Marie into the room with such force that she was nearly knocked off her feet. While slamming the door, he never lost eye contact with her. All Marie could do was gasp as he smashed her between him and the wall. He put both hands forward leaning on the wall, making any escape impossible.

“This is not what it looks like, why Dean was here to help me…”

“Was it worth it?”

The puzzled look on Marie’s face baffled him. “And when you say ‘it’ you mean…”

“Him! Was HE worth it?” Derek’s voice raised with every word. Balling up his fists was all he could do from keeping himself from punching in the wall. “How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us? How in the hell could you do this to your own self!”

Marie never took to being backed into a corner, when she was, she came out swinging. “Don’t you dare raise your voice to me! I am a grown woman and demand respect!”

Grunting, Derek turned around with his hand to his forehead. “I am tired of seeing you with Jeffery, Lewis, Oscar, Maxwell, Carl…and any other God forsaken man who has crossed your path. I will no longer be made a fool Marie, do you understand that?”

Marie was flabbergasted. Had Derek known about all of them this whole time? Her heart started to race, mostly with fear. This was the beginning of the end. She knew it. Being prideful she reacted the only way she knew how.

“I’m so sorry Derek…” she said in a sarcastic tone. “I am sorry that you couldn’t ever fully give me what I wanted! All your long nights at the club, you never had time for me even when I begged. I never got what I wanted.”

Derek leaned in so his cheek rested on her cheek and his lips grazed her right ear. “What do you want from me baby? You want a singer? I will serenade you to tears. Need a protector? I will be your body’s own personal guard. Need to be swept off your feet? Honey, I have my shining armor and white horse waiting outside. But if you want me to beg, I will never, ever do that for you. You never took in a man on his knees.”

Marie’s heart was betraying her with every pounding in her chest. Feeling the whiskers of his jaw rub against her cheek while he spoke sent chills up her spine. She had a huge urge to grab his collar on his shirt and bring him even closer then where he was already at.

“You’ll never be what I want Derek, no matter who you pretend to be.”

Sighing Derek stood up straight leaving more distance between them. Taking one hand he brushed his fingers across her collar bone. Up her neck, to her lips. Marie closed her eyes, he couldn’t help but lean in for a kiss, right on the side of her neck.

“You are right kitten, it could never work between us, what was I thinking? Good luck with your other male escorts.”

Turning around, with his hands in his slack’s pockets, he walked away. Pushing the button and never once looking back he heard his favorite voice.

“Will you still marry me?”

Derek couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Some days, she was so predictable.

Paradise

As soon as I heard the water splashing on my window, I knew it was time for a drive. My favorite part about the night is the silence. It didn’t matter what time it was, it didn’t matter how late. I knew it was time to go.

Shifting into reverse I turned on Justin Nozuka. It is necessary to have the right music for a night like tonight. A chill runs from the back of my neck to my tale bone. Excitement kills me, but at the same time I need some preparation. The mood I am searching for isn’t something that comes along any time, any where.

Splash. Splash.

Swipe. Swipe.

I can’t help but tap on the steering wheel. I even hum underneath my breath. This crisp cold air feeds my veins. I can feel it through my nose, moving to my heart, eventually reaching to the tip of my fingers.

Reaching my destination, I shift into park. Lights are off, engine is off.

Beep. Beep.

The sound reassures me it is locked. Pulling up my jacket over my shoulder I start to walk. Who would have known the park would be so peaceful in the rain? I felt sorry for everyone sleeping now and missing this gift. The hood keeps my hair dry. It doesn’t keep my jeans dry though. The grass soaks my jean bottoms with water.

Reaching his house I slowly reach the fence to the back yard. Trying to be as swift as possible I jump over. Tearing my jeans around my knee wasn’t the plan but it happened. As soon as I reach the other side, I reach for my knee. Blood…eventually it will go away, I wash it off on the grass. Reaching the window my heart starts to flutter. He left it opened a crack for me. Tonight he was missing me.

Sliding the window open, I climb into the house. He looks so peaceful, he always does. When I look at him I wonder how I ever make it so long without seeing him. Shutting the window, I shake off my jacket. Using the sleeve I wipe off the remanding blood on my knee. I place my shoes and socks near his dresser.

I eventually slip into his bed. His sent swarms my head. I think I have missed him too. He puts his arms around me not saying a word. I hope he doesn’t say anything. I just can’t loose this moment. His body heat next to mine sways my mind to sleep.

Thunk. Thunk.

My eyes flutter open. I can hear the parents upstairs, its time to go. Slowly pressing my lips to his forehead my heart feels heavy.

Walking to get my things, my hand grazes his dresser. The carving in the wood is so beautiful. Taking his cologne I spray my wrist. This will last for another day or two, if I am lucky.

Carefully climbing over the fence I make sure that everything looks as how it was. No disturbing the peace.

Flipping the hood over my face I jog over to my car. The rays of sunshine fall in-between the trees. The grass still has the morning rain. I can’t help but smile, waiting for the next time it rains.

Beep. Beep.

Prolouge

Valyn walked into her front room. It was her favorite room. Chocolate walls, with pictures of her favorite photographs, some she took, some she bought. Candles everywhere, and long chocolate colored drapes that covered her front window to the outside world. Everyone always had an opinion of her deep water blue furniture. Two chairs and one couch to be exact. Very modern you could say, but it was what was comfortable to her. Valyn lit two candles and glided over to her couch, sitting on it. The couch was so 1950’s, a fainting couch. She had to get it; it reminded her of something Marilyn Monroe would faint on. She smiled at the thought.
Tonight she felt relaxed, it was comforting, she hadn’t felt this relaxed in almost a year now. Valyn looked around her candle lit room. Stopping at that picture.
Aw together forever! She thought to herself.
Their romance was like living every woman’s secret fantasy. Dane brought her flowers, not just any flowers, but colorful calla lilies. Valyn’s favorite. He opened every door for her that crossed her path. He dressed to empress, always smelling like heaven, collared shirts, stunning jeans. It always amazed her how Dane could pick out the perfect clothes for himself. Those jeans were always loose, but tight enough to show off those strong legs of his, and that tight butt. His shirts were the same way, showing off his shoulders, and chest. Valyn, being the girl that she is, had a thing for shoes. Dane wore mostly black shoes, causal dress black shoes. Exactly what she loved.
Of course it wasn’t easy getting him to dress like that, when they first met she had to eventually buy clothes for him, so he would start wearing them. Thinking of what he wore the first time she saw him, almost made her laugh out loud. White tank top, with red basketball shorts, topping it off with black tennis shoes. The worst part was, he didn’t play basketball.
Now when they walked into a club, all eyes were on him, with his short blonde hair, and stylish clothes. He relished in the fact he got more attention. What man wouldn’t? As soon as the women found out he was taken though, well that just made him more desirable. Dane is what Valyn liked to call man candy. Oh Dane, the perfect gentleman.
How boring.
Where was the excitement? Where was the fun in being predictable? Men had to keep Valyn on her tip toes to keep her around, or she would tip toe to someone else who could.
She traced her hand along the fabric on her blue couch. It was always a comfort to have time alone, even if it was on a Saturday night. Silence, just how she liked it. Her mind was crisp and clear, even if what she was thinking about was unpleasant.
The grandfather clock chimed. Midnight.
How convenient.
Valyn smiled again, while watching her finger trace the fabric. Tonight she felt alive. This was her kind of night. Everything seemed better, food, thoughts, colors, touch.
How convenient.
Dane was getting to that cocky stage. They always did. No, he was at that cocky stage. New clothes and a hair cut, and he is better than his friends. Predictable. He left her house at 11:45 tonight. It was very convenient.
It only took ten or so minutes to get to his own house from hers. At a night like tonight he would need that extra five minutes, before that whore would meet him at his house.
So very convenient indeed.