Truth Be Told

Sitting alone in a house she lived in but could never call home, she tried to embrace the darkness. This wasn’t like her. She never had to try. She always was alone, she welcomed it. Silence was a comfort to her no on else could ever give. Tonight though was a different story. Little did he know, but she was thinking of him too.

For once in years she wanted to be held. She wanted to be protected and not fight this battle alone. She wanted to be called angel, she wanted someone to find the true value of herself. As a trader tear rolled down her cheek she was more grateful then ever she had all her thoughts to herself. It would be a shame if they all knew how she really felt.

She ran the tips of her fingers down her Great Danes back. He was her protector after all, and would love her better than any other male could. In appreciation the dog sighed and nuzzled his head in-between her arms. He knew her feelings, he heard her screaming heart. He would always keep her secrets.

***

Several miles away the young mans heart was breaking too. How could he live like this? He was controlled by his own inner demons, he couldn’t shake them. No matter how convincing his smile was the monster in the back of his head still whispered to him. Told him the truth. Reminded him that his betrothed would never be good enough.

The grandfather clock charmed one only reminded him how much time he had wasted on that couch. How much closer his spiritual death was coming. He knew what his obligation was, and he intended to finish what he started. But what if…?

Running his hands over his bald head he tried to shake the question. No ifs, no more. He had to figure out a way to end this torture. How? What was it going to take to silence all his fears, all his weaknesses, all of his heart? Deep down he knew the answer, now it was only a matter of how fast he could reach her.

***

She pours herself some grape juice in a wine glass. She was never able to acquire the taste for wine, but drinking from the glass always made her feel better. Lighting a candle her eyes adjusted to the new flicker of light in the room. She laid across her love seat. Glancing up at the clock she couldn’t believe it was past midnight already. All these sleepless nights were catching up with her quick. Love, she thought to herself that was the reason.

Staring up at the ceiling she pretends its all stars. She couldn’t stop the thought of knowing he had seen the exact stars she was dreaming of now. If she closed her eyes she could still smell him, taste him, hear him. Chuckling to herself she found it ironic that she remembered him so well. She had one of the worst memories known to man. Her thoughts drifted to the other girl. That other girl who would cling to her man whenever she was present. The other girl who did everything in her power to keep her best childhood friend away. The thought of dealing with the other girl, made her exhausted.

Before she knew it she was drifting off into sleep, until she swore she heard a knock at the door.

***

She had to be home. Who would leave a candle lit while gone? He knocked again wondering if this was a sign. Maybe this shouldn’t work out. Maybe he should swallow his pride and move on with his life as intended. What was he going to say anyway? He pulled the collar of his leather jacket closer to his face. Stepping off the porch he took a bigger look at the house. In her front room was the candle lit. Everything else was pitch black. This was like her. He knew tonight she was somber. If only he could reach her, tell her.

Baby answer me

***

She let her feet touch the cold hard wood floor. Goosebumps spreading all down her arms and legs. Her body was trying to tell her something that her mind could not understand. Listening to the silence she was trying to remember what she had dreamt about. What was she doing again? Oh yes, her ritual of self pity and grape juice. How pathetic. It only got like this when another one bit the dust.

Dating was the most childish game. It was never on her agenda until she received his wedding announcement. His fiancés doing she was sure. Another twist of the dagger in her back. She was tired of waiting around for him anyway. Dating seemed like the only other option to free herself from his bond.

Her canine’s whimpering snapped her back into reality. He was making circles around the front door. His normal sign of wanting to go outside. She wondered why he wanted to go outside now. Normally he was too far gone asleep. Getting up she walked towards the door hearing screeching tires outside. She knew her protector heard something outside and wanted to investigate.

Turning the lock she opened the door where the dog quickly ran out. There she stood frozen. Her lungs were filled with fresh scent of him. Her heart and lungs immediately collapsed knowing she was playing tricks on herself once again. Stepping out onto the porch she stepped onto unstable ground.

Picking up the leather jacket, she held it to her nose. Tears started to pour from her blood shot eyes. Shrugging on the jacket she went back inside. Her Dane immediately went to curl up in his bed. Blowing out the candle she lays across the couch. She wouldn’t even admit it to herself, but she slept better that night then she had in years.

Love, she thought to herself was the reason.