Something Positive.

I'm tired about writing such negative things. So, I thought I'd share with you the last 24 hours of my life, which have been more positive then negative.

I got a phone call from my dad Ron towards the end of work yesterday. He called to see how I was doing and we just talked. At first it started off with me crying a lot and telling him all of my worries. Then he told me the story of how my mom and dad Craig ended their relationship and what the divorce was like for her. You'd think that would just make me sad, but for some strange reason it didn't. As Ron was telling me the story I had this overwhelming calmness almost like a reassurance that what he was telling me was the truth, and probably the exact same way my mom would tell me the story as well. I felt safe, which is something I haven't felt in ages it seems like. I also think it was good for my dad to tell the story. I know from experience sometimes you just want someone to listen to you and that's all. I hope I did that for him.

After that talk I started to think about how I felt and some of the things we talked about. They always say once you hit rock bottom you can only go up from there. I'm pretty sure that is where I'm at now. I have hope that if I could have made it through the last week and a half I could handle what is to come in the next weeks. I've thought that because my mom died, so did our relationship with each other. I'm starting to think now that it doesn't. I'm thinking that there is a way for my mom and I to communicate. I have no idea how that happens or what to do to get there, but I think it is possible. I can still ask her for advice, and although my answer won't be as easy to get or understand I can get an answer from her. At this point she knows so much more then I do and I want to be able communicate with her. I just have to learn how to listen. Just like when Ron calls to talk to me and just wants to tell me a story about Mom.

And there you have it. I'm trying to work on my relationship with Mom and my family. I'm trying to re-build myself. Hopefully to something better then I was before. You need moments in life like this that could make or break you. How else would you find out what really is important to you in life? I'm also trying to work things out with God. Let me tell you, it isn't easy. Every day little by little him and I are working it out.

I feel as though at this point in life I only have two choices. Let this consume me, or learn and grow from it. And right now I'm ready to grow and understand.

Day Nine

Yesterday I went to my clinic shift for school. It wasn't easy. I've been so use to only being around my family and very close friends I've forgotten what the real world is like. I tried to keep it together, but the entire time I wanted to run back home to where my blankets and bed were. After clinic I went to visit my family again. Everyone looks a lot like me. I look into their eyes and I see all the same emotions bursting inside of them. I asked my dad what he was going to do the following day. He said

"Tomorrow, I'm going to try and survive. If I get a few things accomplished then it was a day well spent."

That made me think for a while. I felt so pathetic for the way I was acting yesterday, but I realized that I accomplished something. I survived another day without my Mom. I got up, I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, I put on makeup and clean clothes, I attempted to get back into school, and I drove down to Utah County by myself. In fact, I spent more time by myself yesterday then ever before in the last week. And I survived. Right now, that's all I'm trying to do, survive.

It's been over a week since her passing and I have mixed emotions. I still have so much anxiety. I'm not my normal outgoing self. Instead I'm very timid and shy. I hate being in big groups of people, I feel uncomfortable and want to leave as soon as possible. My first day back at work is a little awkward too. Either I get the very sympathetic look and same questions, or they flat out ignore me and the fact the last time they saw me I was crying my guts out. I'm sure if I was in their shoes I'd probably do one of those things too. I understand it is hard to come up with something to say, so just don't say anything at all. I also have received a lot of things in the last week that remind me of my Mom. Pictures, cards, statues, jewelry. I even have a corner piece that was a part of her casket sitting on top of my dresser. I have this huge desire to put everything in a box and bring them back out for a latter time when I feel better. I think I know better then that though. I can't hide my pain, or my mom, or anything like that. So I keep them out even if I stare at them and they make me cry. I figure I'm going to feel this pain no matter what I mind as well get use to seeing her pictures around and other things. I hope one day they all give me comfort instead of sadness.

I also last night sat outside and talked to my sister Alyssa. She didn't have a good day yesterday either. She talked to me about how she was scared to forget things about Mom. Like how my Mom would always be either outside watering her flowers or in the kitchen cleaning the counters when we got back from school. She was always willing to listen to how our days were and it reminded me how amazing that part of my day was. It's been years and years since I've gotten to feel that, but I remember what it was like calling her up and telling her all about my silly drama in my life. I think she got a kick out of it too. I understand where my sister is coming from.

Tonight after work I'm going to see The Ugly Truth with the PIC. She is putting her halo ways on hold to watch a rated R movie with me. I feel very numb sometimes, like a walking zombie. But if I have to go through this I'd rather do it with my friends by my side. Keep my mind busy even if at the end of the night I never forget and the pain never stops since what happened nine days ago.

Screaming my lungs out [again]

What to say, what to say?

The funeral was yesterday, and it was beautiful. Some of the speakers made me laugh and I tried so hard to remember the good things about my mom and her life. Although, it is very hard to do that when her body is in a casket two feet away from you.

I can't even begin to tell you how hard yesterday was for me. So many ups and downs and more so then ever I don't know what I believe anymore. I have no idea what my heart is trying to tell me. I feel very lost, and very alone. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders to try and get up and make sure my family is ok. How can I take care of them when I can't even take care of myself?

I feel like in the last week people have told me two things.

1 - "This is going to hurt like hell."

Well thank you for that! Like I didn't know that my only mother dying was going to be easy peasy. No one ever wants to hear that, and even though you might be thinking you are doing me a favor by telling me the truth, you are not. I am constantly reminded that I may or may not be able to get through this.

2 - "Well, obviously your Mother was needed very badly up there."

What the hell do you say to that? I can't think of one thing that they need her for that is more important then being here. To raise her four kids, who need her desperately. I'm so mad as it is that God took her away from me, but to think he did it because they needed her makes me sick. Since when does a God need a mortal woman?

I'm worried I'm going to get bitter over this. I'm sure that's not what my mom would want. In fact, I got out of work today when I told them I'd be going back. I'm not ready to face life. I'm not ready to move on without my mom here. I think about the movie P.S. I love you. Where the main character says "Can't I just sit in my wedding dress and sulk until I die?" to which her friend replies "Going insane is not a luxury us middle class people have." And, of course, that is totally unfair and a lot of how I feel.

When my mom first died I found comfort in talking to Ron (or better known as my dad #2). Or talking to family, and all sorts of other things. Now I can't find comfort in any of them. My minds instinct is to try and find anything that will make the hurt go away. Even though there is no escaping this massive black hole of suffering and pain.

I wish I knew what to believe with everything in my life right now. I am so frustrated that the only person in this entire world that I would want advice from on this subject is gone forever to me. Everyone says she will always be with me. But what do they mean by that? I know she will always be with me in a sense that I will always remember her and think of her every second of every day. But does that mean her spirit - her soul is going to be around me? Literally watching over and trying to whisper things into my ear to give me advice? Do you think she can talk to people in my family? To where they recognize her voice and her promptings? A huge part of me right now doesn't believe that's possible. I think it's what people tell themselves so they can deal with this situation right now. Is she really ok? Is there really some sort of gathering place for the dead? Will I ever get there someday? Will I ever see my mother again? Like I said, I wish I knew what to believe with everything in my life right now.

I guess that's all for now. I've taken up enough of your time as it is.

Dear Mom

I wish I had something positive to say today. I wish I could say I was getting better, when actually I think I am just getting worse. As of right now I'm still FREAKING out over getting things figured out with school. I am so stressed out you wouldn't believe how bad my face looks.

Mom, I am scared I'm going to fail that I won't make it. Especially in these next two days. Today is your viewing. I am sick to my stomach with the thought of being around all these very depressed and sad people. I don't want to be hugged a hundred and ten times. I don't want to see their sympathetic faces, and their "I'm sorrys". I just want you back! That's all I want Mom! Just come back to me! Don't leave me here! I feel like dying without you. Nothing seems worth living for anymore.

And don't even get me started on your funeral tomorrow. Are you kidding me Mom? That is going to be even worse. An entire day where I am constantly reminded every second of every day that you are gone and I will never ever ever ever ever ever see you again for my entire life. I'm sorry if I don't stay to watch them put you in the ground. I know I'm not strong enough for that. I'll come back and visit you though.

And then after all of these next two days pass I am expected to jump right back into work and school. Literally Mom - I go to work and then go straight to school until 10:30pm the day after your funeral. I'm not sure if I can do that. If you were here you'd probably tell me I should try. I have no idea what I am capable of, or if I even want to try. I'm going to wear those pearls you gave me for my high school graduation. I haven't worn them in years because they broke, but now they are fixed. I hope sometime in the next day and today I find some sort of peace. That this isn't all soul crushing and heart bleeding. My heart physically feels HUGE. It is so heavy in my chest and hurts so much I don't know how I'm even able to stand upright anymore without falling over.

How am I to do this without you? I keep asking myself that question over and over again. I never have an answer for it. I'd like to think I wouldn't have to do this without you. That you will be around today and tomorrow. Maybe not physically but you will still be able to wrap your arms around me in some weird way and make it known you are there. I'm not sure if people say they feel other people around them because it's their way of dealing with someones death and their mind plays tricks on them to believe. Or if it is really true.

Well, I guess I have to go get dressed now. Your family from South Carolina all got in today, I have to face the music and see them. Even though I feel like pulling out my hair, screaming at the top of my lungs, and laying in my bed until I rot.

I'll be seeing you soon,

-Rachel

Dear Mom,

It's been one day, twenty three hours, and twenty three minutes since you've passed away.

The last time I saw you alive was last Thursday and it was a wonderful time. I loved just sitting in the room with you. We laughed at silly things and I just wanted to be near you. Even though you've been sick for the last five months I've still found comfort in just sitting next to you, even if we were not speaking at all. There were times that I was strong, and there were times that I very weak. Many nights I stayed up crying until I passed out from exhaustion. I tried not to let anyone else see me that way or you because I didn't want to make anything worse. I wanted you to know that I knew you were going to get better, and that we would look back on this time of you being sick and be glad it is over.

Mom, I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Dad is doing better then I expected. I'm so proud of him in this horrible time to get things done that need to be done. Alyssa is being really strong too. Sometimes, when I talk to Alyssa I feel as though I'm talking to you. It brings me comfort to know that I have a sister I can always lean on. Jonathan is so amazing, he is growing into this strong man. Even though I'm eight years older then him I cry on his shoulder, and he reminds me that this isn't the end. Even when it feels like it. And what is there to say about Matthew? He is your baby, always will be right? You and him had a relationship that I never understood, I'm sorry for never understanding.

In my right mind Mom I know we will get past this and makes things work. I will make sure to take care of our little family as much as I can. I'll make sure no one fights (now I can use the "This isn't what mom would want card" and everyone will have to listen to me ha!) I'll make sure they have kids and graduate from school (not in that order hopefully). I'll try to work with Matthew and make sure his grades are up. I'll even print out all his zeros and highlight them if I have to.

I want to say that thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for my siblings, the best two dads a girl could ask for, for your unconditional love and support. I would never be who I am today if it were not for you. You've taught me that no matter what happens in your life, no matter how hard it is - life goes on. I will try hard to smile again Mom, I'll try to have fun in my life and have as much faith as I can. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared though. What if this religion is a lie? And I never see you again? That this is it? What will I do then? You once told me that even if the church was one big lie, at least it got you through the hard times until then end - I will hang onto those words for the rest of my life. I'm going to try mom. Remember when I told you last Thursday I didn't want to go hiking? You told me I had to try and I never got to tell you Mom but I did it! Not only did I go hiking, but I kept my mouth and attitude in check. You'd be so proud.

I can't believe I won't see you when I want to. I won't be able to call you when I need some advice. I can't believe you won't see me get married, or heaven forbid - have my first child. I hope you pick me out some good children while you are there. But I'll always be able to write you these letters, and believe me when I say I will keep you posted on everything.

Please visit me often. I want to feel you around me as much as I can forever. Please help guide me where I need to go. Please help me remember you and all the silly times we had forever. Please help me be strong.

I'm not sure I am strong enough to watch them put you six feet under the ground. I think that will be the worst part. Everyone is coming out from South Carolina, and all over the states to see you one last time. I am happy to see your family again, but I would give up anything if it could be for something other then this situation. I don't know what else to say right now. Other then I miss you and love you and will never forget you. Make sure to save a spot for me up there. There would be no heaven without you in it.

Thank you for bringing me into this world and giving me something I could never give you in return, life. I hope to be a shining example for the rest of my life of what a great child you raised. I'll love you forever and always.

-Rachel

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Have you ever seen that back to school commercial for staples? Where that Christmas song is playing and the dad is running around the store in bliss getting things for his children who are far less amused walking slowly down the isle?

I am never amused when I see it. I'm like those two little kids pouting over going back to school. But guess what?

School is back! Whether I like it or not.

It started on Monday of this week. My schedule is the following...

Monday: College Algebra (kill me) 6pm - 10:30pm

Tuesday: Comparative Hematology & Cytology Lab 6pm - 9pm

Wednesday: Clinic shift 5pm - 6pm, Lab Animals Exotics & Pocket Pets 6pm - 10pm

Thursday: Comparative Hematology & Cytology Lecture 6pm - 8:30pm

And of course, I work full time as well during the day. Well, if you look on the bright side I don't have classes on Fridays anymore. Other then that my summer has gone right down the toilet. My social life is gone during the week, I gotta face that. I also was dreading going back to school, but I'm half way done this week and it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I've actually sorta, kinda, maybe missed this place and all the animals. Plus they remodeled the place while we were all on break. Everything is much more clean and roomy. No more tripping over dogs and cats for me (I hope so anyway).

Last night for my Hematology lab we went to the shelter to collect blood. Before last night I've only drawn blood from animals twice. The first time I failed, and the second time I did it, but not really on my own. Needles to say I was nervous - will that feeling ever subside?

Right now I'm feeling on top of the Vet Tech world because I did a jugular vain blood draw from a dog last night and did it successfully on my own.

This is Tiger Woods. A beautiful rottweiler mix. He was calm and sweet and in a weird way made me feel as though he didn't care if I poked him or not. I can't help but take a picture of all the animals I work with at the shelter. All of them are so amazing and remind me why I am going to school for this in the first place.

Two days down, with two more to go this week.

Bring it on.

Cedar City & Zion National Park

Trent and Brittni made it clear that if I didn't get my butt down to Cedar City to visit them soon that I would have to suffer their wrath. If you knew their wrath like I do, you'd already be half way to your car right now following their instructions.

So, after a two and a half hour drive I was in Cedar last Thursday (I'm a speed demon alright? Lay off!) I spent that Thursday night with these crazy kids...


Every time I go down to Cedar and I see the town I'm always asking questions like.

"Y'all have a cow store here? That sell jars?"
"What? No Barnes and Nobel?"
"Is there anything to do down here besides the Shakespeare festival?"
"You read in BATHTUBS?!?!"

(exhibit A)

I'm always amazed how small that town is and how often Trent And Britt run into people they know. That is far too small a town for the likes of me.

However, Cedar City does have an amazing canyon. I can't deny the beauty there.








Trent told me in advance that they were planning on hiking in Zion National Park on that Saturday I was down there. If any of you even know just a little bit about me it is that I do not hike. Ever ever. Call me diva, call me the city girl, but climbing up dirt and rocks is never my idea of fun. I tried to give them the sad eyes, the mad eyes, the depressed eyes - none of them worked, I was going on this adventure whether I liked it or not.

So at the butt crack of dawn we headed out to Zion. Once we got there Trent, Anne and her friend Stephanie all wanted to do Angel's Landing. HA! I'd rather cut off my left leg and give away my first newborn then do that hike. What kind of sick bastard wants to hike for four hours?! It was painfully obvious I was going to hike alone to the Emerald Pools. A more reasonable two hour hike, although I was still not pleased.

I have to say, the hike was horrible. Did I mention the weather was 113 degrees outside while we were hiking? I was miserable on my way up. Bless Brittni's soul she became my hiking buddy. Although I'm pretty sure she went with me just to make sure I didn't jump off a cliff out of pure desperation for the torture to stop.

Once we got to the first pool I was dazzled. It was beautiful, and I had to jump in the water fall to cool off a little.












I did enjoy the park, they had some rivers to play in, and some fantastic stores to shop in. I think I am all natured out now. I do think it's cool that now I can say. "Yep, I sure have hiked in Zions"

Early Sunday morning I headed back up to the SLC. Reggie and Brandon were calling me... along with the list of things I needed to get done before I start this week. It was a good last hoorah to my summer break before I become a slave to school and work all over again.

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

I onced worked at an Ice Burg when I was 16. It was only one summer, and I am still this day ashamed to admit it. In fact, most people don't know that I have worked at any food place.

To Do List

Here are the fun things I get to do today...

• Visit my mom and try to chear her up
• Clean the house
• Get a birthday card for my brother
• Go to ATM to get money for birthday card
• Mail birthday card
• Pack for Cedar City tomorrow
• Clean out my car (especially the trunk)
• Do some laundry
• Load the car with everything.

Did I mention I need to finish all of this within three hours?

Back Seat Passengers

My day is always ruined when I am driving somewhere and I look to my left to see this...


One of my huge pet peeves is people who tie, rope, or let their dog sit in the back of a truck.

People! What the hell are you all thinking?

While driving back from lunch today my friend and I saw a young blue heeler tied to the back of a flat bed truck. It was standing near the edge and could easily jump off and strangle itself.

I do not believe you are a smart pet owner if you do this to your animal. Seriously! What is your reasoning behind this? Let me guess...

• You are too lazy to put your dog in the cab of your vehicle?
• You would like to pay thousands of dollars in vet bills?
• Your dog would never jump out?
• It was just a quick drive down the block?

If you really loved your animal why risk them being hurt? Most of the animals I see come into the clinic are written up as HBC (hit by car). Hearing the same old story of the owner talking about the patient being in the back of the truck makes me so angry! You could have saved yourself so much time and money if you would have invested in one of these bad boys...


Even when I drive Reggie places he is in his kennel in my car. It's safer for the driver and the animal if they are not sitting on your lap being a distraction. Reggie doesn't mind the kennel at all, but I might get him one of those seat belts anyway. It is such a good idea, and worth the money.

Be responceable! Don't let something like this happen to your animal...

I have no witty title to put here.

I have a feeling this post is going to be random. Bear with me.

First off - I am wearing m new glasses today. And I LOVE them! It is so nice to see again when I take out my contacts. Thanks to my amazing PIC I got them for a great deal as well.


Also, I am really looking into moving out of my dad's place. I have so many mixed feelings about it. Will I really be able to make it? Or will I fail? I have no idea. But I know it's time. I'm done living somewhere that doesn't feel like home. I'm looking forward to creating my own home somewhere else though. Why can't I just be extremely wealthy to buy my own house? The injustice!

A week from today I start school again. NOOOO. What happened to my month of freedom? I'm not ready to be in lock down again. I love living care free these last couple of weeks. I plan on living up this last week as much as I can. Reading outside, playing with Reggie, spending time with the BT. I get anxiety just thinking about going back to studying all the time and being worried if my grades are up to par.

Oh - I just started reading Wicked and I love it! I really should be reading more of the book that my book club picked for this month but I can't even focus on that one when I have Wicked to read. I love more adult fairy tales. Visiting another world is always more fun then mine.

And what is up with people NOT WASHING THEIR HANDS AFTER BEING IN THE BATHROOM? At my work lately I have noticed people poppin' a squat and passing the sink. I get completely grossed out by that. I'm always shocked when I am in the middle of washing my hands and someone just walks right past me to leave. Come on people! If you are not going to wash your hands for your health do it for mine and the people around you!

Do it for the children!

You sick, sick people!

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

I am worried that I will die without seeing the world. My life would never be complete without at least seeing Europe with my own eyes.

Anyone else feel that way?

Can I be cheesy for a moment?

If I could pick a movie that would turn out to be my life, I would pick The Notebook.

Note to self: Force the BT to watch this movie. STAT.

My love of July

This 4th of July started off on the wrong foot. I had a hard time being excited. Normally this is one of my favorite Holidays of the year, but with my mother in the hospital (for the hundredth time) I knew it wasn't going to be the same.

Brandon took my grumpy self up the big cottonwood canyon to have a BBQ with his family. My mood did change, because being around his family is usually always good times. We had a good walk in the nice weather and some good chicken. However, afterwards I still didn't want to see fireworks. I didn't want to fight the crowds, sit around for hours, or sit in traffic for hours waiting to get home. Yet once again, patient Brandon told me I should go anyway, that we would have a good time.

We drove to Tanner park just to check things out. It is a park right across the Sugarhouse park where amazing fireworks always happen. We set up our blankets and some pillows and wasted the night away with great conversation.




During our conversation and staring at the valley down below, our future was brought up.

B: "Yeah, I could see myself getting married to you."

- I need to take a moment to let you know what was going on in my head at the time. We have been dating for about seven months and I pretty much knew how I felt about Brandon, but never spoke it. My theory in relationships is the man should be the one to open up first. That way, you don't scare anyone away. And all night I was trying to corner Brandon to say exactly what he felt for me. After many failed attempts all day I said.

R: "How can you see yourself getting married to me if you don't know if you are in love with me yet?"

Tricky, I know.

After a few moments of silence he said...

B: "Well, I do love you."

(all together now ladies - Awwww!!)

Of course I followed with I love you too. And so our first love yous were exchanged. The best part was even though it sounds cheesy in all the wrong ways it was perfect for me. It felt natural and I was so revealed to say it out loud.

We spent the rest of the night watching several different fireworks.. that were very impressive.


It was by far the best 4th of July I've ever had. Thank you Brandon for the amazing day, I owe you one.

P.S. - I want to be like these guys when I grow up...

Secret Sunday

This weeks secret -

I'd turn lesbian for Ellen Degeneres. Meow!

I won't stop till I get enough

I really thought I was going to get away without posting about Michael Jackson's death a week ago. However, through his death I have come to find a love for him I've never had before.


I remember being a little girl dancing to Billie Jean with my cassette tape doing my horrible attempt at the moon walk. He opened my eyes to pop music which I still love to this day. As I got older, I stopped listening to him and moved on to other music. Honestly since then I played a good Michael Jackson song every once in a while but never really listened.

I found out about him dying while at a sushi restaurant with Brandon. I think it took me a while to really understand that the famous Jackson died. Really? I wasn't expecting that, just like the rest of the world. When I got home and turned on the TV I was amazed how the entire world seemed to stop.

I cannot think of another time where it seemed like everyone stopped to listen to Thriller or Bad. I didn't think I would be as effected as I was. His music videos really were revolutionary and I enjoy watching them and remembering simpler times. I am touched of the things Michael did in his life time. I, like most people only saw what the media said about his questionable lifestyle. Since his death I have grown to love him and have major respect for what he has done in his lifetime. Over and over again I am constantly humming Billie Jean to myself just like when I was six.

I now take some time to remember what matters to me, and that death can come to you no matter who you are, or how much money you have. I hope wherever Michael is he feels the love of everyone else here on earth taking time out to remember his legacy (which as corny as this sounds) will live on forever.

RIP.

YOU IDIOT!

Dear Co-worker,

I would really appreciate it if you did your job before complaining that I am not doing mine. I love it how you always send me nasty e-mails complaining about how I am in the wrong. We need to straighten you out on a few facts...

• Do your research before you come to me about an issue. I'm not here to do your job.
• There is no need to copy everyone and their dog in the company on an e-mail. You and I can figure this out if you can act like an adult.
• Once I give you an answer about an issue - let it go. No need to keep bringing up the same issue over and over again. You only look stupid when the issue was closed months ago.
• Quit talking crap about me. Jealousy and Hate are a nasty color on you.
• Put your big girl panties on and lets work together as equals instead of me pulling you around as dead weight.

Written all of that down yet? Great! I look forward to our new found work related relationship.

Sincerely,

Rachel

My Achy Breaky Tooth

OWIE!!

That's all I really have to say today. My top right wisdom tooth is growing in. I am reminded why babies get so grumpy and cry while teething. All three of my other ones are in and they don't hurt. It's just the growing in part that kills me! Everyone asks if my dentist says I should pull them. To be honest I haven't seen my dentist in two years now. I hate all the doctors - every single one of them. Gyno, therapist, dentist, eye doctor... they all suck.

Everyone also freaks out when they find out I have never had a pap smear/physical . I especially do not want any part of that. Come on now, I figure if the pioneers made it without one, so can I.

Don't worry, I know eventually I will need to do it. I just can't bring myself to do it now. I need to take baby steps. I finally set myself up for an appointment with an eye doctor tomorrow. My vision sucks - real bad. Two years ago I went in and did not have a great experience. I swear if that doctor asked me "Is this one better? Or this one?" again I was going to pop him in the face. Since then I've out grown my prescription and need to buck up and get some new ones. Maybe by next semester I will be able to actually read whats on the white board. Amazing.

Why do so many people have this fear of doctors? I think mainly mine comes from that A) It's going to cost me money, B) They will probably tell me a bunch of horrible things about how unhealthy I am, and C) It is just inconvenient. I swear no one's office is open past five. Uhh hello people -- I have a job too!

So if you see me in the near future throwing a temper tantrum, just remember I'm teething.

What?

If parents can use it on their kids as an excuse, so can I.