My New Love

Blurb people! It's all about blurb.

It's this amazing little website where you can create your own book. It could be anything like your photography portfolio, short stories, or even your own blog. I had a co-worker of mine last year tell me about it and it has always been in the back of my mind to do it I just never have. Now that 2008 is gone I decided to publish all my blog posts in 08. You create an account, download the software, create your book (very user friendly by the way), and then order it.

Here is the cover of my book...

(On a side note the photo is thanks to my main man Michael Wiltbank - check him out here.)

So now my mind is coming up with all sorts of ideas. I love to scrapbook, but lets be honest here - it takes up a lot of time and money to get all those cute little pieces together. I am thinking of buying some scrap booking software creating pages and then using blurb to make a book out of it. I am also thinking of doing some sort of mothers day project this year with a book.

So I just ordered my book today and obviously am way too excited about it. You should get excited to! Check out blurb's website here.

Ash Wednesday

Today it begins.

For those of you who do not know Lent is a forty day long season of fasting and prayer before Easter. Many Christians show their respect for Christ and his forty days in the desert by picking something in their lives they will give up for the time period. The whole thing is very humble. Even if you are not a religious person giving something up to better yourself for such a short amount of time is worth it.

So after some thinking I have decided for Lent I am giving up swearing. Which really sounds silly I know. However, I have been in a habit of swearing a lot - I am less then pleased about it. It will take a conscious effort to come up with other words and to change my thought process. In the past I have given up caffeine or some sort of sweets. The reality is this year I love my coca-cola far to much. If it wasn't my vice in my stressful student life I may have done that again.

I am POSITIVE a lot of gosh - heck - darn - flip - wowzas are going to be flying out of my mouth until Easter. Who knows, by then I may not even care about swearing anymore.

Today it begins.

Ready?
Set?
GO!

**Update - I've already sworn twice today. I WILL do better though.

Fat Tuesday

Note to self: Just because it is a party holiday and lands on a week night does NOT give you the right to party like your parent's are not watching. You will pay for it the morning after.



I sure did have fun though...

100 Books

The BBC says that most people have read about 6 of the 100 books listed below. The ones that are in bold & pink are the books I have already read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Stand - Stephen King
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 Cider House Rules - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

That's 15 out of 100 I have read and I feel like a failure. How can I call myself a reader when I haven't at least read 50 of them? I do double the amount that the average person has read. It makes me feel a little better. Although now I am irritated I haven't read these other classics.

I have a new goal - to at least attempt to read every single one on the list.

Right now I am reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. Everyone is flabbergasted that I have gone 21 years without reading it. What can I say? Why should you read it when everyone around you has told you the story so many times you know it by heart? I am not too far into it but it seems like a good read.

I have got to get to reading! So many books with so little time.

Random Rocking

I'm in a funk. I feel all depressed and moody. When is the sun and warm air coming?

Yesterday I had a pity party for myself on how everything is so boring and regular lately. After getting sick of listening to myself I decided to invite people over at my house for some pizza, nintendo wii, and of course great company. So I called up a few people and had a GREAT time. My friends are so great to come over and cheer me up with my blues.

Of course guitar hero world tour was the game of choice. Let the rocking begin...

You are so beautiful Jen

Wiltbank

Micheal, Jared & Jon

Jonny Klemintine

Fierce

Reggie HAD to get some attention.

Alright after getting my fix of friend time I feel like I can take on another week or two...

What I Need

This was a lot more entertaining then I thought it would be. Put your first name and needs next to it in quotes ("Rachel needs") into Google. Then write down the 10 answers to the sentence.

1. Rachel needs to refer to web sites, manuals, and a variety of documentation.
(You know that is probably true when it comes to my studies)

2. Rachel needs to get over herself and she needs to do it now!
(Uhh - no you can't make me)

3. Rachel needs guidance and normal supervision.
(Honey, everyone knows that)

4. Rachel needs a bigger car seat.
(Now what is that supposed to mean?)

5. Rachel needs to set her sights a little higher.
(Well, I can't argue with that)

6. Rachel needs to focus.
(Sigh)

7. Rachel needs sleep.
(How did they KNOW?!?)

8. Rachel needs your prayers.
(I can't say no to that)

9. Rachel needs bearded dudes.
(Yes please...)

10. Rachel needs to pee.
(Actually I kinda do now that you mention it.)

This just further proves my theory that women named Rachel are all sorts of crazy. I have never met a Rachel in my life that wasn't a little off with some things. Seriously...can you prove me wrong on that one? So really my name is a good excuse to be twisted.

Bake A Cake Day

I normally do not bake cakes, cookies, cupcakes, ok you caught me I normally do not bake anything. I am not sure why but lately I have been thinking about baking and decorating my own cake. When I was little I had great memories of helping my mom decorate cakes that she did for extra money. I brought that idea up to KaraLee and we decided to do it. My mom was generous enough to let us use her kitchen, cake accessories, and her brilliant mind.

Step One: Figuring out what the cake will look like.

Step Two: Mixing Cake

Step Three: Bake Cake

How come KaraLee looks so amazing in every picture?

Step Four: Decorate Cake/Coloring Frosting.

Step Five: Annoy mom with camera.

Step Six: Feed brother sugar...and lot's of it.

Step Seven: Keep decorating no matter how bad your hand hurts.

Then by some miracle you are done! I think they both turned out really good for being our first cakes. I don't even regret the three hours it took to finish it.

Of course I had to make it pink!

KaraLee's Cake is Mickey Mouse who turned out fabulous!

Forced Romance Day

(These cookies are hilarious)

What a sick holiday... filled with peer pressure to buy things covered in pink and red, overpriced chocolate, cheesy cards, and romantic candle lit dinners.

First of all I am not a hater on this holiday because I am one of the co-dependent single people who wallow in their own self pity. I am not a fan because how forced everything is. I don't understand why people do things that they don't normally do just because some hallmark holiday says to. Why not do simple sweet things for your significant other throughout the year? month? week? Of course we are all human and sometimes need a reminder to appreciate the other person in our life. Hell, I need more of a reminder then most people I am sure. So if you look at Valentines day as a reminder on how amazing the love of your life is then so be it. However, if Valentines day is a reminder that you ARE in some type of relationship and need to buy something unoriginal and cheesy to make them happy - you are in need of some help.

This year was one of the better forced romance days I've ever had. Maybe it had something to do with my cute Valentine. I had a simple day. Brandon came over and we took a nap. After we exchanged some sort of gifts. This year I wanted to do something a little different. Brandon has never had a pet of any sort. Not a goldfish, cat, dog, or pet rock! (Ok- who knows maybe he did have a pet rock he is a little strange.) How can this be? No pet? This boy is missing out on so much! I ended up getting him a fish with all the things necessary to keep him alive and comfortable. His name is Kelvin, let's see how long Brandon can keep him alive. Baby steps...baby steps...

Brandon gave me all sorts of silly personal things that he knew I liked. Some of the things were care bear, Greek coloring book (how amazing is THAT?), CD he made, and some beautiful pink roses.


He also made me dinner. Let's face it - I am not very domestic. Ha ha.

Tortilla soup. The man can cook.

I don't know about you but trying to get out on Valentines day is ridiculous. I am glad we stayed in and watched a movie and had dinner. Nothing is better then forgetting the world and singing a long to the musical Grease. Poor Brandon.

Hope your Valentine's was a good one.

Listening to the Engine Moan

The first weekend of Febuary I took my first road trip by myself to Cedar City. Anyone who has gone on a road trip with me knows its one of the worst kind of self torture for me. I hate road trips. I get sick, and have no patience getting anywhere in a car with no room. I even will get claustrophobic depending on how long the ride is. However I have an amazing cousin and best friend who lives in Cedar. I have promised the boy many times I would make the journey to see him but never have.

So really why not take a random trip by myself to go see him?

Well, really if I had an option to drive with other people I probably would have taken it. I am the person that says What if the car dies in the middle of no-mans-land? What if I get into a horrible car wreck? What if the car BURSTS into FLAMES?!? I worked myself up into a worry frenzy right before the weekend. Brandon gave me great advice saying that I should be prepared for what I can, and deal with problems when they occur. So with that I left.


The ride was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

I listened to music and did some deep thinking. It was such a great experience not having to worry about anyone else or anything else. If I wanted to keep driving, I did. If I wanted to stop for some coca-cola, I did. If I wanted to blast my music with horrible 90s boy bands, I did. Also the sky was wonderful to look at. Sunshine and rain, can not get better then that.



Gorgeous right?

Before I knew it I was there hanging out with all the crazy Cedar City people. I had a great weekend feeling more independent then before. Even when I drove home through some horrible snow and wind It was still worth it. I need to do things like this more often. You know what? People need to do things like this more often. Don't go too crazy though - four hours is about my limit. Any farther than that and someone better hook me up to an IV of Dramamine.

Look Mom! I'm growin' up!

The Game of Love

One of my insecurities is my relationship. I have this really hard time not comparing mine to others. Especially people who are closer to me or that I have been friends with for years. Today I have been catching up on blogs of friends. Over half of them talk about getting married and/or being married soon to their significant other.

This makes me sick to my stomach.

I read about their relationships from when they met to when the massive ring is placed on the left hand. What? Am I missing something here?

Here are a few time lines of some of my friends.

Friend #1:
Meet in April 08 - start dating a week later.
June 08 - They realize they are both are madly in love
August 08 - ENGAGED BABY! WHOOOO!
November 08 - Hitched.

Friend #2:
October 08 - start dating
November 08 - Head-over-heels in love
January 09 - Engaged
May 09 - Marriage date

(And my personal favorite...)

Friend #3:
January 08 - start dating
Febuary 08 - in love AND engaged!
April 08 - Tied the knot.

WHAT?! REALLY PEOPLE? Three months? No WAY can you know someone well enough to marry them. That is crazy talk right there. Do I believe in love at first sight? No way. You may have a major crush on them but you are not in love with them from first sight. I feel only ignorant people say things like that. Sure the thought is nice, but not real. I even had a friend who was planning her wedding to this guy before he even proposed. She had the dress, the shoes, the venue. Where is the fun or surprise in THAT?

Anyway - my logic side knows that is crazy talk. If only my irrational side would listen to the logic side instead of whispering in my ear all the time.

"You've been dating the guy since October. Shouldn't you be in love with him yet? What? You are not sure? Well hell - look at everyone else. They knew right from the git go. Are you waisting time? Because obviously if you don't know within the few first months it's doomed. Oh right - I forgot, you can't fall in love. You're broken."

If I could beat up that side to me I would. Give it a few black eyes and a split lip. Maybe it wouldn't be bothering me so much if my friends and family wouldn't get disappointed when I tell them I am not in love with Brandon right now, that I just really like the guy and will see where it goes. I know everyone is different and you just do what works for you. I plan on keeping on doing what I am doing and figure if things are right they will work out. I can't but wonder though...

Is this how normal people work? Or am I stuck with this sick world of instant love?

The Return of the Past

Just when you think you have escaped, just when you think you are moving on in life, heading in the right direction, starting a new chapter - the past, or more specifically my past comes back to haunt me.

Tonight while doing some home work I receive this text message.

"Is this Rachel?"

I HATE when this happens to me. I have this battle in my head...

Who is this?
I don't know the number.
Ok you shouldn't write back, you know how your luck is.
But what if it is someone important?
Or someone I want to talk to?
Obviously they want to talk to me.

The curiosity always wins.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Your long lost friend Dave. How are you?"

Immediately my heart pounds in my chest and a knot is in my throat. I knew which Dave it was even though I did not want to believe it.

Don't know about Dave? You can find out here.

The rest of the conversation is as follows -

Rachel: I'm good. Dave who?
Dave: Smith. From high school. Remember me?
Rachel: Wow. I'm surprised you know this number. How are you?
Dave: I'm good. I totally forgot it and could never think of it till last night. I had a dream that I called you. lol How are you?
Rachel: I'm good
Dave: So whats new?
Rachel: Working, going to vet school, have a new boyfriend. What about you?
Dave: Working in Salt Lake, living in Eagle mountain, and I'm married.
Rachel: Oh congrats! That is awesome.
Dave: I think so. Where are you living these days?
Rachel: In Salt Lake
Dave: Same place or have you moved?
Rachel: Same place
Dave: Cool. How is the fam?
Rachel: They are doing great. Thanks for asking.
Dave: Good. I'm pretty surprised I got a hold of you.
Rachel: I am too. I'm shocked you remember this number.
Dave: I know thanks to my dreams
Rachel: So how long have you been married? Anyone I would know?
Dave: For about a year and three months. No one you know. Her name is Mashaely
Rachel: Oh, cool name
Dave: I think so. So hows your boy?
Rachel: He is amazing. His name is Brandon who is 27.
Dave: Brandon what? Where is he from?
Rachel: Wilde. He is from Salt Lake. You wouldnt know him
Dave: Fun. How long with this one?
Rachel: Since December
Dave: That's cool

At that point I stopped texting him. I think no matter who you are your first love is always hard to get over. They are the ones that leave a lasting impression on you. I always thought we would never speak again, I would never have to hear from him ever again, and I found peace in that. A part of me is upset that he would jump or try to jump back into my life like this. It is just my luck to have him remember my phone number from a "dream". I am still completely in shock it happened. Although, this wouldn't be the first time him or some other guy has contacted me like this out of the blue.

I am so lucky to have a boyfriend who is self confident enough not to freak out when I tell him about my dramatic ex boyfriend stories - and then when they randomly contact me again. Trust me when I say most guys can't handle it.

Why? WHY? Who contacts their ex that they havent seen since the summer of '05? Especailly when you are married?

Welcome to the ongoing story of my life.

Breaking Free

Uh oh... I feel a sin coming on...

Every once in a while I have this itch. An itch to do crazy irrational things. I want to tattoo my entire arm, move across the world, pierce all the wrong places, dye my hair bright pink, dance on some bar tables, kiss random strangers, get into a fist fight, quit my job in a blaze of glory, smoke a pack of cigarettes, gamble all my money away, and listen to Limp Bizkit.

Oh thats right...I said it.
L-I-M-P B-I-Z-K-I-T

Why do I have this overwhelming need to unleash my inner rebel? I feel as though at least twice a year I go through a phase where I am constantly trying to suppress my impulses. Does anyone else feel that way?

I think it stems from my teenager days. Not giving a damn about life caused me to do some silly things. I did almost all of the list given above (I'll let you be the judge of which I didn't do). Obviously that wasn't the mature thing to do with my life. However, to say I didn't have fun while doing it would be a lie. I get some sort of high or rush of doing things I know I probably shouldn't be doing. Now that things in my life are different and I have it together I miss those silly, silly days. I wish I could figure out an outlet for all of this pent up energy.

What's a girl to do?

Till Death Do Us Part

I should have written about this earlier, but of course - I didn't. Early November of last year I got my tattoo of Reggie's paw print. I had Reggie's paw inked so I would get his exact paw shape. I do not want the commercial looking paw print...everyone has those. Like I've said before though, I want a piece of Reggie with me forever.

Last night I went into the shop to get my tattoo touched up. I wanted to get it a darker black.

The worst part about getting a tattoo is waiting...

So when in doubt, take pictures of the shop.

I think everyone thinks about the pain before anything else. To be honest, yeah it hurts. Hello - you are being punctured by needles over and over again into the dermis of your skin. You bleed, you cringe, you can't wait until it's over. It's not like little kittens licked it on. One could only wish

No one seems to talk about the bloody part. You know me, I'll tell you the truth. The picture below is an hour or so after it was done and wrapped. Eww BLOOD!

If you asked me I'd tell you the hardest part about getting a tattoo is the recovery part. It can take up to three weeks until everything is back to normal. I am a slow healer so I am constantly having to tell myself don't itch it, don't scrub it, don't soak it, don't even look at it. Getting an infection is my worst nightmare.

Rest assured after all of the worry and pain it is worth it if you really want it. The picture below was taken after I cleaned it all off. I will get a picture up when it is fully healed too.