Super Sushi Tuesday

I'm not sure if anything can top a night out with the girls AND sushi! In high school I had zero girlfriends. I was always with the boys. I just never had time for the catty attitude and back stabbing. I never realized how amazing it is to have those girlfriends you can tell everything too. Lets face it, sometimes those penises just don't cut it.



Also on a side note...

BREAKING DAWN IS COMING BREAKING DAWN IS COMING BREAKING DAWN IS COMING!

ok - I feel better now.

Guilt & Hate

Someone please tell me I am not alone when it comes to dealing with family. There has to be another person out there that has to deal with a family member who is screwing up their lives! I am so sick and tired of dealing with them. The drinking, sex, and the lies. I've about had enough! I try and help them but I don't think they care or want it.

I hate how on the outside everyone loves this family member of mine. If they only KNEW what happened behind closed doors, the things they have said to their children...the hurt and pain they cause to their loved ones. If they only KNEW how screwed up that person was! They wouldn't be so likable anymore. I always have a huge urge to punch someone in the face when they tell me how much they like this family member. If only they knew...

I'm tired of the guilt I have inside. I feel guilty that I could almost say out loud how much I hate this person. I feel guilty when I think about walking away from this person forever. I'm tired of the guilt I have that they put on top of me blaming me for things I have almost no control over.

They don't even understand that one day they won't have pushovers like me anymore in their lives. One day me and everyone else around them will snap and wont take any more of their crap. They will burn all their bridges and die alone. I'm tired of feeling guilty over that too. They are doing it to themselves.

If they want to ruin their lives like this why do I have to sit around and watch it happen? I shouldn't feel obligated to watch their pathetic life go to shit.

Jonathans Birthday

Oh Jonathan - turning the big 1-3. I never thought I would say this but I feel OLD every time one of my siblings has a birthday. I can't even remember what it was like to be 13. I have always had a special bond with Jonathan. We have the same humor same taste in music and are both honest people. For his birthday this year my mom and I went in and got him an iPod. Things lately have been stressful for my family, I was really worried Jonathan wouldn't get the attention and love he well deserves. We went to dinner at Burger King (yeah - he loves that stuff). We also went to the mall and I got him a disturbed shirt. I love this kid, hopefully he had a good birthday!

A hammock? Jamaica here I come!

Matthew and Alyssa

Ooo an iPod

Random pictures in the month of July

So I have not been the best with blogging lately. Life has gotten complicated really fast. I thought I would post some pictures of the last few weeks and catch up everyone. Hooray for random pictures!

Batman premier movie! Yes - I was there at midnight with batman shirts I LOVE Christian Bale

4th of July - I love Alyssa

4th of July wrestling.

Justin texting...thats all he did the WHOLE trip! (ok- I was guilty of that too)

Love these guys!

Yeah. We are hot.

Real Lion - precious

This game was HILARIOUS! I love the fans

At the Real game.

Joe Shmoe

I try to read your face like a book.
At first it was short sentences
In English

Nice to meet you.
You want some gum?
Thanks for hanging out with me.

Confusion and hope mixed together
Deadly combination
I tell myself there is no use in liking you
You play for another team(s)
I couldn’t slip on PJ’s without my phone beeping
I try and read your book

I had an amazing time tonight
You looked good
Sleep well

I didn’t have time to read the next few days
Parents are sick
Family is in trouble
No time for sleep
I still received your short sentences

Everything ok?
We should hang out again sometime
I’m always here for you

When its time to party I have you at my side
I drown out fears by looking at your smile
I learn things around you that I’ve never learned before
Dead squirrels are top quality
Not everyone wears all white to their weddings
You make me feel pretty
Keep telling me I’m pretty…
I love when you read to me
Short sentences turning into short stories
I think I’ve heard this story before
Dad is lost
Brother in jeopardy
Mother is a best friend
Read more to me…

I think you’re a great catch
I always have so much fun around you
I can’t wait for tomorrow with you

If it wasn’t from your own mouth I wouldn’t have believed you
Laughing and sharing until 4:30 in the morning
I think I like laying next to you.
Hope and desire mixing together
Deadly combination
Waking up getting ready for you
I was worrying over nothing
Especially when your face showed up at my door step
Awkward moments turning into comfort
Laying in the grass listening to the jazz
Your body heat is warming my skin
You don’t even have to touch me
I know how hot you are.
By the end of the night its getting really easy to read you

You want to watch a movie at your house?
I think we should watch Cruel Intentions
I hope you are having a good time, I know I am.

No choice is given I am sitting next to you
The movie turns on, lights turn off
Your hand on my thigh burns
I haven’t done this in a while
Long story really, I will read it to you sometime.
By the end of the night I don’t even have to hear words
I read your face like a book
The feeling is mutual
Trust and taking down barriers
Deadly combination
I haven’t had time to read
I’m sorry, family calls
Same shit another day
Dad is sick
Mom is crying
You’re short sentences bring my heart peace

How is your day going?
How was the movie?
I will write tomorrow

Looking forward to seeing you
Time is flying by
I don’t see you’ve written.
Im searching but the pages are blank
This isn’t like you
Will you read to me?
Time shows my answer
Still blank
When I ask you to write we are back to short sentences

I’m sorry I haven’t written, I’ve been busy
I can’t go tonight I’m going to see my father
I’ll write later

Your English confuses me
I think it’s really Japanese
No matter what translator I try to use
It never adds up
Do I read left to right?
Or is it right to left?
I keep reading the words over and over again
All the frustration and confusion
Is a deadly combination

....

Now when I look at your book all I see is your face
Haunting me, staring at me
Reminding me of your body heat
Your smile
Your once sweet short sentences
I have to close the book now
The hot pools of water dripping down my cheek burn
Patience, hope, trust you will write again to me.
Deadly combination

Dear John,

I'm not sure how to go about this. I've never been good at it.

The time you and I have spent together really has been amazing. In fact, I remember the first day you and I met. You were so sweet, I knew that I would fall hard for you. Even if I was young I knew it was true love. We never argued or didn't get along. If I needed a pick-me-up you had my back, even if I didn't have yours. Through the years there have been others but I'd be lying if it wasn't always you. You and I both know eventually I would always come back. Anytime I was having a hard time you were always there. Thank you for that.

However, lately things haven't been going as well as I would have liked. Times change, people move on to bigger and better things.

Really it's not you, it's me.

I just have all of these goals and darn it I have to make them! Sacrifices must be made. Our relationship brings me down. One blissful taste of you on my lips is not worth it when I feel guilty the next moment. You hold me back. I need space. I need to be able to feel and look great without you being my crutch. I am sure we will run into each other in the future. How can we not? You are friends with all my friends. Don't be surprised when I don't answer your calls or look away when you are around. A clean break needs to happen. I won't be able to stay away from you very long if we keep seeing each other like this. Maybe one day you will understand. Who knows, maybe one day we will be together again.

I love you Coca-Cola. I always have and always will. Good luck with you and your future. I am sure you will do great things!

Sincerely,

-Rachel

Men seeking Women

On this boring Thursday I have been trying to keep myself busy with something at work besides twiddling my thumbs all day. I have even been looking at craigslist…I know. Sometimes I read it. Anyway, I came across the “men seeking women” adds and some of these are blog worthy!

“Seeking Fun Chubby Chaser – Looking for a female accepting of very large men. I’m 6’7 and weigh about 420 – I’m gigantic. Also must be willing to put up with offensive jokes in public, and like movies.”

Ok where do I even begin to start with this one? I am by no means a skinny girl. I will be the first to admit it. I’d like to think however my personality makes up for the lack of beauty if you will. So if you expect me to go out with you and your 420lb self you BETTER be funny or something! If you think I am going to date you when you are “gigantic” AND make offensive jokes in public you are so sadly mistaken!

NEXT…

“Just A Dude – I work full time, I go to school part time. So I don’t really have a lot of time to hang out. All of my friends are either married or alcoholics. I really don’t like to drink. Hit me up, I will try and pensile you in.”

…hold up aren’t you trying to get a girl to pensile YOU in? Let me get this straight you don’t have any time. Your friends are losers and you still hang out with them? Wow good luck with that hunt buddy!

NEXT…

“Hi Ladies - Ladies, if you are looking for a normal down to earth good looking, non-freak guy that you can have a good time with hit me up! I am clean, funny, good looking, and am here for fun, NOTHING SERIOUS! Anything you would like to know all you need to do is ask and I will tell you. I am not a PIG or a DESPRATE guy, all I am looking for is fun, fun, fun! Life is to short to deal with BS and DRAMA! Ages 18 to 45 welcome. I like older women that are mature and skilled and can hold a conversation among other things”

Fun fun fun? Anyone that has in all caps pig or desperate usually means they are. I mean what I get from this add is that you are just looking for sex and you have to post to get women…hmm. But way to go on givin’ the old ladies some lovin’ too.

NEXT…

“My gawd this is embarrassing -

Hi. I'm just going to come out with things from the start:

I've never had any luck with women. Never kissed, never gotten laid, never held hands on a summer's evening... ever. There, now you know, so everything else about me can sound less impressive by comparison. You're welcome. Really, I think I'm a pretty great guy. Maybe its just the kind of girls I have always been attracted to. I don't know. It is rare that I really like a girl, so maybe I'm just too picky? You can help me figure that out... I've gotten to the age where family and co-workers stop wondering 'if' I am gay, and just assume I am. I've got to do something about this, and since all my friends think I'm gay anyway, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of asking to be set up. They don't know anyone good anyways, my friends are dopes. No, I didn't mean that, I have a really awesome friends, they just don't know attractive single girls. By profession, I'm a computer programmer. Nerdy as they come, I can code my way not only out of a paper bag, put into a plastic one, and double bag it at the same time. I'm good at what I do. Why my ability to type syntax and sort alphanumeric arrays, hasn't resulted in attention from you ladies, is beyond me. I'm leet, for crying out loud! Like all computer programmers, chess players, and serial killers, I have high OCD tendencies. (I made up the serial killer part, so relax. I'm sure thats only half-true.) I like to do things for long periods of time.(insert double-entendre here) This can be a little much for most people, if I come onto a topic I'm interested about I will not want to get off of it for hours. There is an up-side to this though, as I've ran all the real big-life-questions into the ground. (Religion, meaning of life, morals, fate, breakfast, etc) Now, I would rather spend most of my time listening. Yep, you heard me. I'm a good listener, I'll admit it. I'm a healthy person. I like to exercise, I like to eat healthy/vegan. I ride my bike everywhere. I'm simply not attracted to any girls who don't take care of their bodies. Physical health comes second to intelligence, and I'm even less attracted to girls that don't stay in shape mentally. Now, you should know, I'm a total idiot, and I seem to get stupider with age. But I would kill to find a girl who was brilliant. (Serially if I had to.) (Haha, serial killer jokes in an online personal ad. I'm so funny.) Oh, I just remembered. I'm a funny bastard! Maybe not in the classic way, where I actually make people laugh, but close enough. I can crack myself up sometimes, which is quite an accomplishment, given that I get very depressed sometimes. (What? I am. Have you not read yet? I'm a 27-year-old virgin. What do you expect?) I'm a pretty good-natured person, but it is true I can get very somber. My own life experiences coupled with the deteriorating state of the human condition, is a real downer. Still, I keep a cool scene where ever I go. Trust me, I'm fun. :) Lets see, what else is there to say about me... I have an artistic side, though I won't claim it to be my best side under any circumstance. I'm thinking of buying a camera and getting into photography. Which seems like a good enough reason to start traveling too. I also would like to go see some theater locally, now that I live closer to it. So yeah. One single, fit, and tidy male. For rent or lease. OBO Your picture gets mine. Limited time offer, no CODs. (Dear god, I know you and me don't see eye-to-eye about you existing, but if there still a girl out there for me, I'll totally give you ten percent of my income until the day I die - if you can get her to respond to this ad.)”

Wow – did any of you really read that whole thing? He lost me at never been kissed never held hands at the age of 27…yikes.

Oh, now I know what I am going to do whenever I get bored!