Guilt & Hate

Someone please tell me I am not alone when it comes to dealing with family. There has to be another person out there that has to deal with a family member who is screwing up their lives! I am so sick and tired of dealing with them. The drinking, sex, and the lies. I've about had enough! I try and help them but I don't think they care or want it.

I hate how on the outside everyone loves this family member of mine. If they only KNEW what happened behind closed doors, the things they have said to their children...the hurt and pain they cause to their loved ones. If they only KNEW how screwed up that person was! They wouldn't be so likable anymore. I always have a huge urge to punch someone in the face when they tell me how much they like this family member. If only they knew...

I'm tired of the guilt I have inside. I feel guilty that I could almost say out loud how much I hate this person. I feel guilty when I think about walking away from this person forever. I'm tired of the guilt I have that they put on top of me blaming me for things I have almost no control over.

They don't even understand that one day they won't have pushovers like me anymore in their lives. One day me and everyone else around them will snap and wont take any more of their crap. They will burn all their bridges and die alone. I'm tired of feeling guilty over that too. They are doing it to themselves.

If they want to ruin their lives like this why do I have to sit around and watch it happen? I shouldn't feel obligated to watch their pathetic life go to shit.