Dear Mom,

Well obviously I miss you. The farther time passes after I saw you last, the more lost for words I am on what to write you. This is silly to me, because if we were talking on the phone right now I'd probably have a million things to tell you about.

I sort of feel awkward writing you letters. I'm not exactly sure why either.

The other night while I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep, Frankie was in the crook of my arm drooling and snoring. It was such a beautiful moment. I felt like I was looking for him my entire life, just like I do with Reggie. So I laid there staring at the ceiling wondering how I got to this point. Then I thought of you. And I was sad. Sad of course that you are not around, and sad that I couldn't introduce Frankie to you.

Then I thought to myself. Well he was born a year ago, which was after you died - so I am sure you have met him. Maybe a year and a half ago you were laying down with him in the crook of your arm listening to him snore and drool.

I smiled a big huge gigantic smile. In the dark. By myself. (well, with the dogs obviously)

That was a silly image in my head, so I had to smile about it. I was telling Ron on Mother's Day this year that I don't really cry about you too much anymore. I think it is because I am busy with so many other things, that I don't give myself the luxury to sit around eating bon-bons and licking my wounds over you passing. I do still think about you. Every day. I hope you think about me.

I'll come up with something better to write next time, promise.

Love,

Rachel