I met Dave the first day of Oak Canyon Junior High’s open house. I was just about to start 9th grade. He was officially my best friend Krystal’s boyfriend. They both showed up to my house to walk up to the school so we could all see where are classes and locker were. My first impression of him was that he was very protective of Krystal. He was right by her side the entire time. I got along with him for the most part, we both made a lot of sarcastic comments. I didn’t think he was so bad. He made Krystal burst with joy, I figured that was what really mattered right?
Diving into 9th grade head first I didn’t see Krystal very much. She was always with Dave. She seemed to be too cool for us junior high kids. Dave and his friends were juniors in high school, so much more fun. The only time I ever saw her was during school hours. Krystal and I had a mutual friend Jenn who I was hanging out with more than her. At lunch time Dave would come down and eat with her in their perfect little love world.
Quickly I let Krystal go as a friend. She was your typical co-dependent girl teenager. She always put Dave first. I remember feeling ill feelings towards Dave for taking my friend away.
Starting high school was exciting for me. Jenn and I became closer and I made so many more friends as a sophomore. Jenn decided to still be friends with Krystal. I saw her and Dave walking through the halls sometimes. I always heard updates from the two of them from Jenn. It was something I always brushed off my shoulder. Neither were worth my time.
Being a junior in high school was even more exciting for me. This year I had a car and could start breaking away from the nest. I would pick up my friends and take them to and from school. I remember a week into school Krystal started coming to lunches with us. Typical I thought to myself. Once the boyfriend graduated she wanted us to be her best friends again, when it was convenient for her of course. I tried to listen to other conversations in our group at lunch but I couldn’t help but overhear Krystal and Jenn talking. Apparently Krystal was over Dave. He wasn’t “on the same level” as her. He wouldn’t give in to some of her crazy and irrational demands she had. I remember thinking Gez, good for him. Krystal’s 17th birthday was coming that Friday. I got sucked into a conversation about what she was planning to do. She was having a big birthday party that Saturday with a bunch of people – especially older men, she made sure of that. Jenn asked her what she was going to do with Dave.
“Simple” she said “I dump him on my birthday”
On her birthday? Harsh.
She had this planned out for a while. She told him not to buy her any birthday gifts. Little did he know she really meant it this time. I remember that Friday watching Dave drive to the parking lot to pick up Krystal like always. Little did he know today his world was going to change. I felt sorry for him but once they were out of sight, they were out of my mind as well. I went home like any other Friday. My friend at the time Carley was over at my house. I had a problem with my trunk after school, it would not shut. I sat outside trying to fix the problem for over a half hour. I called my dad (because the car was used by him before I got a hold of it). After much frustration my dad called me back and let me know I had to fix a metal piece in the truck for it to shut. I remember facing my house trying with all my might to fix the metal, but couldn’t get it into place. My friend Carley kept nudging me. I thought it was a joke until it started to get annoying.
“WHAT CARLEY?” When I turned and looked at her, her face was filled with shock.
“Do you need any help with that?” I stood in my place frozen after hearing his voice. I knew exactly who it was. Slowly turning around I saw Dave in my driveway. His small white car was pulled in front of my house. I looked at him with panic. He had defiantly been crying with his eyes puffy and red. I tried to justify why he would have come to my house, I hadn’t talked to him in over a year at least. Did he think I had something to do with Krystal breaking things off with him? All I could do was nod my head and let him walk over to my trunk quickly analyzing the situation. He grabbed a hold of the metal piece and popped it back into place. I was amazed. Carley quickly found an excuse about having to finish up some homework at home and was gone before I could even say goodbye. I was envious that she got to leave.
I remember looking at Dave was painful for me. I’ve never seen a guy my age cry like that. He kept his eyes on the ground for most of the time we were talking. He made a lot of small talk with me, I felt so awkward watching him in so much pain. Finally he opened up.
“Why did Krystal break up with me? I know she would tell you”
I knew the reason, or the reason she told me. I lied and told him I didn’t know, but the truth was he wouldn’t sleep with her. He wanted to wait until they were older, she wanted to fit in with the rest of the crowd they hung out with. I watched him cry outside my house sitting on the porch. If anyone really knows me, they know I am not good with emotional things. When someone cries in front of me I freeze up and don’t know how to comfort someone. Dave told me how he cut off all his friends while dating Krystal. He thought she was the one, and was determined to win her back. He made me promise to put in the good word for him. He would come and check back with me the next day. I watched him leave and wasn’t looking forward to the next day at school.
I ended up talking to Krystal there was no talking her into dating Dave again. She was excited with her new life and the new group of older men. Every day was the same routine. He would be at my house waiting for me when I got back from school. Every day it was the same news, some days he cried some days he didn’t. Eventually it turned into a friendship. Instead of him coming over to hear about Krystal, he came to hear about me. I was always excited and relieved to see him day after day. I remember over time my views on him changed. I could see the real him, the kind hearted side. My hormones also got the best of me. He was more and more attractive to me the more I got to know him. He was the bad boy, jeans, a tight white shirt showing his amazing shoulders and chest, and a leather jacket. To this day I can still smell his old spice leather jacket, I still get chills from the memories.
My mother and step dad liked him at first, then they started to get annoyed with him coming over so often. I cant say I blame them, their 17 year old daughter hanging around a 20 year old wasn’t exactly something they wanted. They laid down a rule that I could only see him 3 days a week. Of course I thought that was the end of the world. I did however make the best I could with the time we had. One day he was over until late as usual, we were wrestling when he pulled me into him by my house and kissed me. I knew in that single kiss he was my first love. Cheesy, but the truth. We went on dates here and there, but never made it exclusive. I would get so angry with him some days. Wishing I could call him my boyfriend, I never knew what was taking him so long to be ok with it. Finally I started playing hard ball. Testing my limits with him. I would date other people, just to see his reaction. For the most part he was quiet about it never saying anything. Finally on Halloween of my junior year Dave, my friend Mark and Carley all went to a local pizza joint to have dinner. I only invited Mark knowing he had a huge crush on me and would hit on me every chance he got. He was also as old if not older then Dave. I played it up touching Mark, sitting next to him, smiling, paying all my attention to him. Watching Dave’s face get redder with each passing smile or touch made me laugh. Finally while we were all going our separate ways I walked Mark to his car. He leaned me up against his new sport car and wrapped his arms around me. He leaned into me and kissed my neck. Screeching tires were suddenly in front of me and Mark.
“Rachel…get in the car…now!”
Dave’s voice was a deep demanding growl. I smiled at Mark and got into Dave’s car to go home. The whole ride home was dead silent. All I heard was the car roaring with Dave’s inward frustration. He dropped me off without a word or hug goodbye. From that night on we were exclusive. Things were great. Dave always did little things to surprise me. On Christmas Eve I was at Carley’s house hot tubing when I got a phone call from my mother telling me Dave was over and dropped off gifts for me. I ran home to find a bunch of jewelry wrapped up for me. The puka shell necklace was my favorite, he had one exactly like it.
We dated until the beginning of April. He decided to take a job in Alaska for six months and I knew I couldn’t wait for him and stay single my senior year of high school. The day he left there was a junior in our high school named Torrie who always had a thing for him. She spread rumors all around school how Dave cheated on me with her. She never could confront me to my face about it, even when I would talk to her. At first it was painful having him gone, but we wrote and talked on the phone all the time. In the meantime I dated another guy who was a year younger than me named Chris. I stopped writing Dave after three faithful months.
One night Chris took me to a dance concert at our high school. Half way through the concert I got a phone call it was a number I didn’t recognize. I didn’t answer. Soon after that I looked behind me to see Dave marching down the isle to where Chris and I were sitting. I quickly panicked. I hadn’t seen Dave for what seemed like forever, and he looked better then I remembered. I quickly let go of Chris’ hand and took Dave’s while he took me outside to talk. Poor Chris, I ditched him in that high school concert and left with Dave. It was always Dave, I think Chris somewhere deep inside knew that.
Dave and I were on and off again for several months. He was really good at leaving me for some girl he had his eye on, and when it didn’t work out he came back to me, I always let him come back. He was a different person after coming back from Alaska. More closed off, not as easy to get along with. In the mean time, I graduated high school and moved to Salt Lake to live with my father. Once again Dave wanted to become exclusive again, once again I said yes. I remember telling him it was the last time I would ever accept him back into my life, that I had enough of the high school games. We dated for three months. Then he broke things off with me again. I cried about him for an hour and then told myself I had enough. No more Dave. I was in a new city with new friends, new experiences and I wasn’t the same pushover Rachel back in high school. We didn’t talk but through mutual friends I heard about him dating another girl who was in high school. In fact after two weeks of dating her he proposed to her. She freaked out and dumped him. It wasn’t long after that he called me. I ignored his calls and went on with my life.
One night however he showed up on my front door step begging me to come back to him. It was so hard to tell him no, that I was over him. I lied right to his face. I told him I was dating someone else and I had no interest in starting something with him again. The whole thing was dramatic, he knelt down and begged for me to forgive him. That he was a fool for leaving me, it was me always me. Blah blah… I yelled at him telling him I never wanted to see his face or hear his voice again. Although he still called every once in a while and I answered I never saw him again after that night. I knew that if I did see him again, and kept a friendship with him I would cave and crawl my pathetic self back to him.
I can honestly say I was head over heels in love with Dave. Just seeing him made my heart melt. He was something I always told myself could never have and never deserve. When I grew up I realized I was someone he could never have.
I was worth more.
