To Whom It May Concern

Dear Sandra,

Ditch the two-timing husband. You are too sexy, talented, kindhearted, funny, and interesting to be waisting your time on someone who can't see that for themselves. Don't make the same mistake as Tiger's wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Oh, and while we are at it - please make another romantic comedy soon ok?


Dear Body,

Get it together already! We have lots of plans this weekend, and I'll be needing you in top condition. Don't worry there will be plenty of time to sleep next week with the break from school.


Dear GaGa,

Come to Salt Lake City. I promise to be extra slutty for you.


Dear Future In-Laws,

Sorry about the slutty lesbian talk just then.


Dear True Blood,

I'm looking forward to our date in June. It's been too long, and I'm terribly thirsty.


Dear Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple,

Get ready for me and the gang. We are coming with some colors, and vengeance! By the time we are done with you, you'll be a pink, green, yellow, and purple mess!


Dear Alexander McQueen,

Thank you for designing these...


Now if only I could get my hands on them.

Best regards,

Rachel