For instance, why does my family (and when I say family, I mean mostly me) have to pay for almost the entire wedding? Traditionally the grooms family pays for flowers and the dinner/luncheon you do. So, this means the groom does what? Ok, so I understand they should take care of the honeymoon/ring. I'm still thinking they have it easier though. Dudes don't have to wear a huge white dress, and have everyone judge every single choice you make for your wedding. The men should at least have to do something that makes us equal. How about making them build you a house, or feed you bonbons and grapes whenever you wanted for the rest of your life. Yep, that sounds about fair.
The reality is, most of it is not fair. The whole "take his name" thing is so last millennium. Why are we constantly giving up our names? This requires sitting at the social security office for hours, get a new drivers licence, then change your name with everything... bank accounts, loans, titles, work, school, benefits. The list could go on forever. I'm getting a little tired of being called Rachel Wilde already. I'm not entirely sold on the entire idea. There is a very good chance I will leave my name the way it is. I have yet to tell someone that without them freaking out a little bit.
Whats wrong America? Do you not like the fact that I plan on being married, and keep the name I was born with? That I'm not being a stay at home, wearing my apron, with my six kids running around the white picket fence? Okay, that was a little over-the-top, but I'm getting really tired of having to defend my choice. In fact, it makes me want to keep my name even more, whats the rush anyway? I could always change it years down the road if I'd like.
Why are people making such a big deal out of this? It doesn't mean my marriage is less ligament than someone who shares the same name. I don't like it when people pull the kid card either. If I ended up having kids, they could end up having Brandon's last name. Or maybe every other one could have a different last name. Really, when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter that much.
I wish I was a dude (sorta).
6 comments:
Hear, hear!
Josh's (affluent) mother complained about having to pay for a luncheon, so I had to do all the planning/reservations for it and tried to make it as cheap as possible. Then when she didn't want to pay for drinks, my mom stepped up and said she'd pay for appetizers and drinks. (Although his mom did end up paying for that stuff, but I think it was only to save face.) She also complained about having to pay to just RENT Josh's tux.
I also considered leaving my name...and that's why I did for a good 6 months. People are dumb for judging you for not being sure. Ultimately, I decided to change it because: one, I think it kind of hurt Josh's feelings that I wasn't changing it. Two, I didn't want the confusion later in life. I think that's especially a factor when you're active LDS. :) Three, I just got over it and it became not a big deal. I say to just wait and see how you feel about it and you're right - you can always do it later. Just be aware that you can only do it with your marriage license as proof of change for two years after the marriage.
I agree that girls kind of get the shaft in this marriage business, but I think it's because our egos aren't as big and we can hack it.
Geez, it's bad enough I can't stop talking on my own blog, let's hijack yours now, too.
Cease longest comment EVER.
It took me two years before I decided to officially change my name, and then that took a whole lot of hours during work that I had to take off to take care of said name change. And even now that it's changed to my married name I decided to drop my middle name and keep my maiden name. I like the emphasize the C. in my name. I will always be a Curran.
Oh, I just wanted to add that the MIL's cheap-o-ness was why our Utah reception was so classy. I promise I have better taste than what you were able to attend.
Can I also just say that the planning of this wedding stuff that she was so indignant to have to pay anything for was amid her complete downstairs remodel and the wedding date had to be pushed back because of her trip to Peru? PHEW! Thank you for allowing me to get that out. I can't say this stuff on my own blog. :)
If I could stop laughing so hard from reading your friend Heather's comments I could go on and on with all of my stories!!! So so true!!:) There isn't enough space for it though so I will just say I changed my name (obviously) but I never took the time to change it with social security because it is so inconvenient so I still have to file taxes under my maiden name so in the end I may not even be considered a Gillis anyways!!! So many things to have to worry about, I agree!!
I second what Shannon said. I have Roby as my middle name, and didn't give it up at all--you can always have 2 middles if you already have a middle and want to keep it.
Also, it's really not as hard as people make it out to be... just remember to keep all of the forms in one place, and try to go during the middle of the month, at the beginning of the week--all of the government offices are slower then (also, the earlier in the morning you can go, the better)... this is all if you decide to change your name.
I wanted my husband to take my name, but that wasn't okay with him, so I decided to just go with it and simplify things. Besides... Singer wasn't THAT horrible of a last name anyway.
Maybe Brandon should be a Yates? or you could both be Wilde-Yateses? ... or just go with Wates!
Rachel-- if I had to go back and do it over, I would NOT have changed my name-- it took 2 trips to the SS office alone to get a new SS card and was a huge HUGE pain! I still sometimes forget and introduce myself as Hannah Neville. The only time I really like being Hannah McMillan is when Neal is fake mad at me and goes "Hannah McMillan-- take that back" then I think it's cute. And I'm sorry about the whole reception paying stuff... it's stressful. I'm sorry you don't have your mom to help you plan everything else!
On another note, one of my friends just got married, and her husband changed his name. why not?!?!
Post a Comment