Today I feel exactly like the man in the blue shirt...

Don't you just love it when people try to fight you about something irrelevant? I have come to realize that some people in your life you will just never get along with. Let's face it, people get stuck in their ways being too prideful and its just the same old song and dance over and over again. I now know that the people in my life who I do not get along with I dont need to get along with. I do not need to be their best friend either - it's just not going to happen. Why can't others accept that?

I can act civil believe it or not. Just because I am a 21 punk kid with no "real life" experience (or so I'm told) doesn't mean I don't know how to shut my mouth and behave when I need to. I'm not here to fight, I'm not here to cause more problems. However, if you expect me to sit down and work things out I won't. It's not worth it to me. Maybe sometime later in my life, but not here, not now.

In other Rachel news my mom is still sick. I have really high hopes things will get better - even when I call everyday and the news is always worse. She went back into the hospital last night after a collapse. I think she isn't getting very much oxygen and her body is just far too weak right now. I feel very guilty about the entire situation. I want to be there for my mom as much as possible. I feel selfish that I am going to work and school or doing things with my friends on the weekend while she and my family are probably miserable. At the same time, what can I do? I'm already dying on the inside about it - it breaks me down. I feel so depressed. I've visited her a few times but I don't want to get in the way right now. She probably needs a lot of alone time to sleep and heal. I'm thinking of doing something cool with my siblings over the weekend. I just need to figure out some ideas and come up with some strength to do it.