Dear Mom,

Yesterday wasn't easy, for the both of us. I wasn't sure what to expect, but when I finally reached the house and saw you lying on the couch my heart dropped. You looked so fragile that I was worried if I gave you a hug you'd break in half. Even though you were probably hurting worse then I can imagine on the inside you smiled when you saw me. I smiled back, then proceed to bother you with the same questions everyone as been asking.

How are you feeling?
Is it getting any better?
What can I do to help?

All of the answers are the same, not much better. I wish for one day mom I could take on your illness so you could have time to go outside and feel worried free. Maybe then you would understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't hold your head up high enough to see it.

Later that evening I heard you whisper my name and I dropped down to my knees to hear you better. When I asked you what's wrong you simply held out your hand to mine. I held your beautiful bruised hand and tears streamed down my face. I'm sorry that I didn't act very strong yesterday, but I meant it when I looked into your eyes and told you things would get better, you will soon feel better.

Then you told me I was a good daughter. I'm always amazed that even when you are sick you still know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Making me feel better. That sentence is laughable, because I should be the one making you feel better. All this time I have been so worried I wasn't there for you enough - like a good daughter would have been. And although I still feel that way, I am glad you still view me as a good daughter.

I'm coming back to see you tonight. I have more free time on my hands this week and I hope to bring you some joy.

I will never forget that you gave me life. Something that I will never be able to repay you for, but I would gladly give up my own life to save yours. That is what I am really saying every time I tell you I love you. I am looking forward this year to the day when we will get to plant flowers outside your house. Don't worry mom, that day will come quicker then you think.

Get better soon,

-Rachel